I met my future Stepkids − 27 May, 2004
I was anxious to meet the kids. I heard so much about them but I knew all they'd think of me when they saw me was, "he's the old loser that likes Mom." I tried my hardest to not try too hard. :) I let it happen naturally. I felt that they'd all like me if I just acted like myself. I just said, "Hi, nice to finally met all of you." and that was it.
We jumped in the car and went bowling and to Funset Boulevard (a huge arcade). I just relaxed and talked to them like people. I think I did the right thing because I've never had a problem with them and they do respect me and listen to things I have to say. Nowadays, When I hear the kids talk about me, they seem happy to tell people I'm their mom's fiance. They refer to time spent with Chris and I as "Family" instead of "Mom and her boyfriend" and that makes me smile.
I figured the boys would be okay with me, but it was the girls who were 15 and 14 at the time that I thought I would have trouble with. I was kind of right, but now they all have their own way of showing me that they care and I think it's amazing. I feel the love everyday and it feels really good.
Unfortunately, their dad spent plenty of time early on telling the kids inappropriate things and/or lies about Chris and I and at times the kids believe it (Why wouldn't they?). They tell us everything and by doing so, are asking us for validation. All we can do is just explain the truth and not say one bad word in return. He most recently told his 16 year old daughter that he never loved her mother and that's very unfortunate that the child now thinks that she was a mistake, no matter how flippant she was in response to the comment.
I chalk this up to bitterness about the divorce and I really think it's something he'll regret in the future. I think he already is in some ways as the kids are very smart. I know he's not really that bad of a guy. He can't be or his kids wouldn't be as awesome as they are. I'm just glad that he's found someone now and hope that he can move on from the disappointment. If he doesn't, I see a long lonely life full of bitterness for him, both from himself and from his kids. You don't say those things to children, even if they are true.
We jumped in the car and went bowling and to Funset Boulevard (a huge arcade). I just relaxed and talked to them like people. I think I did the right thing because I've never had a problem with them and they do respect me and listen to things I have to say. Nowadays, When I hear the kids talk about me, they seem happy to tell people I'm their mom's fiance. They refer to time spent with Chris and I as "Family" instead of "Mom and her boyfriend" and that makes me smile.
I figured the boys would be okay with me, but it was the girls who were 15 and 14 at the time that I thought I would have trouble with. I was kind of right, but now they all have their own way of showing me that they care and I think it's amazing. I feel the love everyday and it feels really good.
Unfortunately, their dad spent plenty of time early on telling the kids inappropriate things and/or lies about Chris and I and at times the kids believe it (Why wouldn't they?). They tell us everything and by doing so, are asking us for validation. All we can do is just explain the truth and not say one bad word in return. He most recently told his 16 year old daughter that he never loved her mother and that's very unfortunate that the child now thinks that she was a mistake, no matter how flippant she was in response to the comment.
I chalk this up to bitterness about the divorce and I really think it's something he'll regret in the future. I think he already is in some ways as the kids are very smart. I know he's not really that bad of a guy. He can't be or his kids wouldn't be as awesome as they are. I'm just glad that he's found someone now and hope that he can move on from the disappointment. If he doesn't, I see a long lonely life full of bitterness for him, both from himself and from his kids. You don't say those things to children, even if they are true.
