First Time  − 27 October, 1988

I was a very dysfunctional sexual being. Sex was on my mind from the time I was about 12, but just the thought of having sex terrified me. For one, I didn't want to have before I was married. Two, I was afraid it would hurt. On the other hand, I wanted to hurry up and have the experience and get it over with.

From August to mid-October, Tim and I were becoming more adventurous, but we were both reluctant to take that next step. After coming home to an empty home one evening, we almost had sex but we were both a bit freaked out and decided not to.

The next couple weeks Tim started bringing me back to his house between the time school got out and volleyball practice started. My mom just figured I was staying at school and Tim's parents worked. We usually just hung out and talked. That particular afternoon I was wearing a black short-sleeve sweater and tight gray jeans. It was drug-free week so I had buttons and ribbons on my shirt. I can even remember the exact panties I had on.

We started kissing on the couch and Tim grabbed my hand and walked me into his parent's bedroom (by the way, ick!!!) The next thing I know, my sweater was off and I was shaking. My jeans were tight so they took more work. : )

Tim was very gentle, which was good since I was a wreck. I just didn't want it to hurt. It did, a little. I'm sure there was some blood which makes me wonder how that worked itself out since we were on his parents' bed.

We really didn't have much time to just relax since I had to get back to volleyball. He took me to the school, kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me.

The experience wasn't earth shattering. Despite Tim later being an ass, I'm glad my first time ended up being without someone I cared for deeply.

Comments:

edunn (February 15, 2007. 01:06am)

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