My most memorable culinary Chinese food experience.  − 25 August, 2004

It was my first week, it involved going out with the guys and eating lots of Chinese food and drinking lots of Chinese beer. I loved it.

I was having a really great time.

This day, they'd decided to take me out to the village. It was across the main road, where I nearly got run over on a few days later.
Anyway, the village was over the road, it was where all the workers who were building houses would go to eat and drink.
The restaurants were the most basic of places I'd ever seen. A few old tables, rickety chairs, dirty glasses, plates and floors.
Outside the street was muddy and filthy, people used to just use the wall along the side of the road as the urinal. The whole street stank of it. Great stuff.
The guys took me to one place, where we all sat down and started ordering food. They ordered loads of stuff, including a chicken dish, covered in a brown sauce.
I started tucking in to this, as did everyone else.

Eventually we found a head and feet in the dish, nice. I think we were coming round to the conclusion that an entire chicken had been chopped up and cooked.

I picked up a piece of curvy meet. It was soft large and pink.

I looked at it. I turned to one of the teachers on the left of me "Does this look like a rectum to you?"

"Well, I dunno, eat it." He replied.

"Erm..." As I stared at it.

Without warning, everyone started chanting in unison "Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!"

Oh well I thought, new country, new life, new experiences.

I put it in my mouth and chewed it the first time, it was soft and didn't taste too bad, I chewed it the second time and without warning I felt it burst in my mouth. Then I was overcome with the taste of chicken shit. How do I know that it was chicken shit? Believe me, if you ever get the stuff in your mouth, you'll know. Trust me.

I spat it out onto my plate, the look of disgust had everyone in stitches. I grabbed my beer and swirlled it round my mouth ran outside and spat that out. Then I had to go back in for more, I rinsed out a few times and spat a few more.

There was a murmur from me about bird flu, the guys just looked at me with the 'welcome to China' look on their faces.

It was a good meal though. I also made a good impression with the guys. My give it a go attitude won me into the circle of laowai.

A day I remember with most fondness...

Comments:

kga245 (September 18, 2006. 10:38pm)

Eeew. A truly great and gross story. Loved it.

moby (September 19, 2006. 06:50am)

It's very hard to find 'real' Chinese food abroad. I can only ever seem to get Cantonese dishes. Although I've heard of one up in mid England somewhere.