$500 sunflower seeds... − 1 May, 1993
ok. this is a confession of something awful i did. at the time i was working at the chicago mercantile exchange trading currency derivatives on the trading floor. basically what i did was stand around all day and wait for my clients to call me with an order and i'd make those silly hand singles to execute the trade. also, i kept my eye on reuters for breaking news that can effect the markets. however, on days there was no news and the markets were really, really slow and it was worse than watching grass grow.
today was one of those days. so i opened up a bag of sunflower seeds and started snacking on them. i didn't know what to do with the shells so i starting throwing all the shells on the floor. every 15 minutes janitors would come down sweep up all the paper and refuse off the floor. this was done like clockwork. well, when the janitor passed me he gave me a dirty look and said, *hey, is this your mess?* *oh, no, it's not me. it's the broker next to me. he keeps eating and kicking the sunflower shells by me,* i said innocently. *well, you know there's no eating on the floor. tell that broker when you see him to stop it or he'll get fined!*
the broker who happened to be next to me was away from his desk. he worked for chase manhattan bank, i don't even remember his name because i always called him *chase*. one thing i do recall is the guy was a real, pompous, self-centered, name dropper with an ivy league mba. i didn't like him. so, i continued eating my sunflowers seeds and throwing the shells on the floor. this time around when the janitor saw my pile of discarded sunflower shells he was pissed-off. *didn't you tell the broker to stop eating his sunflower seeds and making a mess,* he yelled at me. *of course i did but he doesn't care,* i lied. *that's it!* shouted the janitor and he left in a big huff. a few minutes later a security guard from the cme approached me and asked me about the sunflower shells littering the floor. i tell him my story about the broker at chase and how he just won't stop eating the sunflower seeds. luckily, the chase broker was still not around. the security guard started writing something down and said to me, *well next time you see the chase broker you tell him that his sunflower seeds just cost his firm $500!!! i'm fining them!!*
so, i stopped eating my sunflowers. when the chase broker finally came back i don't think he even knew or ever found out. $500 is such an insignificant amount of money for a huge firm. i'm sure even chase manhattan bank didn't notice.
now i want to apologize for what i did and thank chase manhattan for the $500 bag of sunflower seeds. it was delicious. ;-)
today was one of those days. so i opened up a bag of sunflower seeds and started snacking on them. i didn't know what to do with the shells so i starting throwing all the shells on the floor. every 15 minutes janitors would come down sweep up all the paper and refuse off the floor. this was done like clockwork. well, when the janitor passed me he gave me a dirty look and said, *hey, is this your mess?* *oh, no, it's not me. it's the broker next to me. he keeps eating and kicking the sunflower shells by me,* i said innocently. *well, you know there's no eating on the floor. tell that broker when you see him to stop it or he'll get fined!*
the broker who happened to be next to me was away from his desk. he worked for chase manhattan bank, i don't even remember his name because i always called him *chase*. one thing i do recall is the guy was a real, pompous, self-centered, name dropper with an ivy league mba. i didn't like him. so, i continued eating my sunflowers seeds and throwing the shells on the floor. this time around when the janitor saw my pile of discarded sunflower shells he was pissed-off. *didn't you tell the broker to stop eating his sunflower seeds and making a mess,* he yelled at me. *of course i did but he doesn't care,* i lied. *that's it!* shouted the janitor and he left in a big huff. a few minutes later a security guard from the cme approached me and asked me about the sunflower shells littering the floor. i tell him my story about the broker at chase and how he just won't stop eating the sunflower seeds. luckily, the chase broker was still not around. the security guard started writing something down and said to me, *well next time you see the chase broker you tell him that his sunflower seeds just cost his firm $500!!! i'm fining them!!*
so, i stopped eating my sunflowers. when the chase broker finally came back i don't think he even knew or ever found out. $500 is such an insignificant amount of money for a huge firm. i'm sure even chase manhattan bank didn't notice.
now i want to apologize for what i did and thank chase manhattan for the $500 bag of sunflower seeds. it was delicious. ;-)
Comments:
Oblivious (April 3, 2007. 04:01am)
That's hilarious. You have quiet the mischievious streak :)
CrystallineTulip (June 22, 2007. 08:31am)
I love it!