Drinking before work. Not a good idea, but what the hey... − 1 May, 2005
To refuse an offer of drink, from a Chinese person, in China, when you're a foreigner, is very rude. Some people will get very cross if you don't have one on them. It's terribly impolite to say no.
Add that with you being the novelty item in a country and place where there aren't many foreigners and you're going to be drinking a lot when you go out to eat.
I had finished teaching my kindergarten class in Harbin and headed across the road to my favourite place to pick up some 'kimbap' for breakfast it's a Korean dish, rolled vegetables and rice in seaweed. Delish.
I entered and spoke to the fuwuyuan, I was a regular each week and they began to remember what I wanted. The I heard from my left.
"Ni hao, ni hao. Ni he pijou?" (Hello, hello, you drink beer?)
This was at about 10 in the morning by the way. It was two guys, with beers, sat at the table with a load of food between them.
"wo bu keyi, wo xueyao jiao wode xuesheng." (I can't, I need to teach my students.) I had to repeat this a couple of times before they understood me.
"lai lai lai, he pijou, he pijou." (Come come come, drink beer, drink beer)
"Wo bu keyi"
"lai, he yibei pijou, yibei" (Come, drink one glass beer)
"hao le" (ok) I replied and sat down with them. Chinese will grab you and shake you until you give in. so it pays to be strong inside if you're ever there.
Of course, we "ganbei'd" a glass. Down in one. They drink from small glasses, I miss it actually, the ganbei'ing and glasses.
Then of course, I'd downed one glass, they asked the follow up question.
"he zalai yige" (Drink another one)
"Wo bu keyi, wo xueyao jiao wode xuesheng"
Him and his mate just waved this off. "He pijou" They said some more and I gave in. "Hao lo, hao le, he pijou."
So we all had another ganbei. This went on for five more big bottles. That is, five for me, five for one of the guys, and five for the other one. Harbin pijou being a nice 5.6% proof.
During the drinking of which, they offered me some of their food to eat. They got the waitress to bring another plate and chopsticks. I began tucking into a dish. It was brown, with meat and slightly spicy. Not bad at all I thought.
"Zhe shi shenma?" (This be what?) I asked them.
"Gou rou"
"Shenma?" I asked.
"Gou rou" He replied more clearly.
I looked at him quizically "Gou rou?" and I lfted my hand and made the wagging tail of a dog and barked. "Ruff ruff ruff"
"Dui le, gou rou." (Correct, dog meat)
Ah.
I've been eating dog. They thought it was quite funny, they know we don't eat dog. But as I had been and was now ever so slightly pissed, I thought what the hey and continued eating. I wouldn't ever do it again knowingly. How did it taste, if I remember rightly, something like lamb, but it was so heavily dressed up in sauce, that I couldn't tell for sure.
We spoke about loads of things and I was quite happy to be able to actually answer them. Although, the guy sat to my left began to get a little angry when I didn't understand some of his questions. His mate tried to relax him, and succeeded in part. But it was clear he was an angry drunk. Not long after, the fuwuyuan (watching all this of course, laowai are not common and worth their weight in entertainment value) interjected and got his mate to leave. I don't what was said, but it was sufficient for him to go.
Oh, by the way, I had my camera on me and I had some pictures taken of me and the two guys. I have to find them though. They exist somewhere...
She'd also thought I was Russian, despite the numerous times I'd been in here and told them I wasn't. Fortunately my new friend cleared that up and once they thought I wasn't, they were much much nicer to me.
It was agreed that he would phone a friend to come and pick us up and take me back to the school. I had to teach in about an hour. After consuming about 6 pints of beer more or less, each bottle being a little more than a pint. Yeah... I had no idea of how I was going to sober up.
His mate eventually arrived and my new friend paid for the beer and food. Very kind of him. Chinese can be extremely generous, it's quite touching. Before I knew it, I was sat in the back of a car hurtling back to Jiangbei to teach a lesson, utterly smashed and of my face.
I sincerely recall taking three pictures of myself in the car on the way back. The next day, when I put them on my computer, I discovered that I'd taken about 100 pictures on the way back. Ooh, I was drunk I thought to myself.
Anyway, I was driven back, and I looked at my mobile, 20 minutes before class. There was no way, no way, I was going to be sober for the class.
This, was also coming toward the end of my stay in China, and it proved to be my most stressful time there. I was sick with stress. It was this day that helped me keep steady and level and not go completely doolaly.
I sat in my room, partially worried that I was still drunk and not really wanting to go in and teach. But I had to. No choice. I drank some water, got a bit of food in me and walked out.
I remember entering the class and I started explaining to my students everything that had just happened to me, in Chinese. I told them how I couldn't refuse because it would have been insulting. I told them everything, on and on I went.
One of the students eventually piped up. "Speak in English" Normally, when I'm not drunk, I make better decisions.
So I looked at her and said "You want to speak Englsh, let's speak English." and I fronted her. Quite directly. "Come on, speak English." She didn't like this confrontation at all and got up. I moved and stood in front of her, she backed of I followed.
You can see where this is going. I followed her round the classroom in a game of chase. I thought it was great fun, she thought it was hell and ran out of the classroom.
Oh dear.
I turned to my students and I asked them not to say that I had been drinking, I knew she had gone to talk to the new headmaster. The one who I did not get along with at all. A complete "C U Next Tuesday".
He turned up. Oh Balls. Then he asked the students had I been drinking.
My heart sank. But much to my relief, every one of them in the room said I hadn't. Every one.
It wasn't the best thing that's ever happened to me I have to say. I was pissed and was far from normal decision making ability. It wasn't until the afternoon that I'd sobered up that it dawned on me what I'd actually done.
Although I have no regrets about it. I was being treated badly in many other instances in this school, none of which I was truly to blame for, but ultimately held responsible. Being able to have that drink with those two guys and have a laugh kept me sane for a bit.
Things got worse after that. I was dragged through the gutter, all for things fictional in creation.
Anyway, never drink before work. It ain't clever.
Add that with you being the novelty item in a country and place where there aren't many foreigners and you're going to be drinking a lot when you go out to eat.
I had finished teaching my kindergarten class in Harbin and headed across the road to my favourite place to pick up some 'kimbap' for breakfast it's a Korean dish, rolled vegetables and rice in seaweed. Delish.
I entered and spoke to the fuwuyuan, I was a regular each week and they began to remember what I wanted. The I heard from my left.
"Ni hao, ni hao. Ni he pijou?" (Hello, hello, you drink beer?)
This was at about 10 in the morning by the way. It was two guys, with beers, sat at the table with a load of food between them.
"wo bu keyi, wo xueyao jiao wode xuesheng." (I can't, I need to teach my students.) I had to repeat this a couple of times before they understood me.
"lai lai lai, he pijou, he pijou." (Come come come, drink beer, drink beer)
"Wo bu keyi"
"lai, he yibei pijou, yibei" (Come, drink one glass beer)
"hao le" (ok) I replied and sat down with them. Chinese will grab you and shake you until you give in. so it pays to be strong inside if you're ever there.
Of course, we "ganbei'd" a glass. Down in one. They drink from small glasses, I miss it actually, the ganbei'ing and glasses.
Then of course, I'd downed one glass, they asked the follow up question.
"he zalai yige" (Drink another one)
"Wo bu keyi, wo xueyao jiao wode xuesheng"
Him and his mate just waved this off. "He pijou" They said some more and I gave in. "Hao lo, hao le, he pijou."
So we all had another ganbei. This went on for five more big bottles. That is, five for me, five for one of the guys, and five for the other one. Harbin pijou being a nice 5.6% proof.
During the drinking of which, they offered me some of their food to eat. They got the waitress to bring another plate and chopsticks. I began tucking into a dish. It was brown, with meat and slightly spicy. Not bad at all I thought.
"Zhe shi shenma?" (This be what?) I asked them.
"Gou rou"
"Shenma?" I asked.
"Gou rou" He replied more clearly.
I looked at him quizically "Gou rou?" and I lfted my hand and made the wagging tail of a dog and barked. "Ruff ruff ruff"
"Dui le, gou rou." (Correct, dog meat)
Ah.
I've been eating dog. They thought it was quite funny, they know we don't eat dog. But as I had been and was now ever so slightly pissed, I thought what the hey and continued eating. I wouldn't ever do it again knowingly. How did it taste, if I remember rightly, something like lamb, but it was so heavily dressed up in sauce, that I couldn't tell for sure.
We spoke about loads of things and I was quite happy to be able to actually answer them. Although, the guy sat to my left began to get a little angry when I didn't understand some of his questions. His mate tried to relax him, and succeeded in part. But it was clear he was an angry drunk. Not long after, the fuwuyuan (watching all this of course, laowai are not common and worth their weight in entertainment value) interjected and got his mate to leave. I don't what was said, but it was sufficient for him to go.
Oh, by the way, I had my camera on me and I had some pictures taken of me and the two guys. I have to find them though. They exist somewhere...
She'd also thought I was Russian, despite the numerous times I'd been in here and told them I wasn't. Fortunately my new friend cleared that up and once they thought I wasn't, they were much much nicer to me.
It was agreed that he would phone a friend to come and pick us up and take me back to the school. I had to teach in about an hour. After consuming about 6 pints of beer more or less, each bottle being a little more than a pint. Yeah... I had no idea of how I was going to sober up.
His mate eventually arrived and my new friend paid for the beer and food. Very kind of him. Chinese can be extremely generous, it's quite touching. Before I knew it, I was sat in the back of a car hurtling back to Jiangbei to teach a lesson, utterly smashed and of my face.
I sincerely recall taking three pictures of myself in the car on the way back. The next day, when I put them on my computer, I discovered that I'd taken about 100 pictures on the way back. Ooh, I was drunk I thought to myself.
Anyway, I was driven back, and I looked at my mobile, 20 minutes before class. There was no way, no way, I was going to be sober for the class.
This, was also coming toward the end of my stay in China, and it proved to be my most stressful time there. I was sick with stress. It was this day that helped me keep steady and level and not go completely doolaly.
I sat in my room, partially worried that I was still drunk and not really wanting to go in and teach. But I had to. No choice. I drank some water, got a bit of food in me and walked out.
I remember entering the class and I started explaining to my students everything that had just happened to me, in Chinese. I told them how I couldn't refuse because it would have been insulting. I told them everything, on and on I went.
One of the students eventually piped up. "Speak in English" Normally, when I'm not drunk, I make better decisions.
So I looked at her and said "You want to speak Englsh, let's speak English." and I fronted her. Quite directly. "Come on, speak English." She didn't like this confrontation at all and got up. I moved and stood in front of her, she backed of I followed.
You can see where this is going. I followed her round the classroom in a game of chase. I thought it was great fun, she thought it was hell and ran out of the classroom.
Oh dear.
I turned to my students and I asked them not to say that I had been drinking, I knew she had gone to talk to the new headmaster. The one who I did not get along with at all. A complete "C U Next Tuesday".
He turned up. Oh Balls. Then he asked the students had I been drinking.
My heart sank. But much to my relief, every one of them in the room said I hadn't. Every one.
It wasn't the best thing that's ever happened to me I have to say. I was pissed and was far from normal decision making ability. It wasn't until the afternoon that I'd sobered up that it dawned on me what I'd actually done.
Although I have no regrets about it. I was being treated badly in many other instances in this school, none of which I was truly to blame for, but ultimately held responsible. Being able to have that drink with those two guys and have a laugh kept me sane for a bit.
Things got worse after that. I was dragged through the gutter, all for things fictional in creation.
Anyway, never drink before work. It ain't clever.
Memories.
