The Day I Became an Atheist  − 1 March, 1993

OK, I don't know exactly what day that was. But I do remember it.

My foster parents and my mom had something in common. They both dabbled with a wacky denomination of "born again" Christians, subjecting me to many years of indoctrination in the church. For most of my childhood, I paid very little attention to all this religious stuff, despite the fact that at times I was actually very much immersed in it. For example, I was sent to Bible camp three times, was a member of both Awana and Cadets, and, by the time I got to my second foster home, involved in Christian youth groups. Mostly, I took advantage of these groups as social time, unlike school, which I hated.

Finally, though, when I actually started to look around and notice all the actual religion in the religion, while I was in my second foster home, I had a sudden and permenant reaction to it. When I actually questioned what I was doing with these people, I started to really dislike them. At the same time, the indoctrination was getting worse -- for example, I recall viewing, with the members of my church, a Christian-made film dramatizing the so-called 'end times' of Armageddon, a laughably bad attempt to scare us into fearing the real world and make us better Christians. This, along with a number of other little moments began to alarm me, and really turned me off to the church.

Of course, I was also entering my rebellious teenage phase at this point, too, and the fact that my very religious foster parents (whom I seriously disliked for a number of reasons, almost none of which had to do with their religiosity) were forcing me down this path also irked me.

So one Sunday morning, they were leaving for church, and I decided I had enough. I refused to go. They went and that was it. I didn't call myself an atheist at that point, since I had no idea what an atheist really was, but over the next three years I would begin to really examine these feelings, especially once I reached college.

Comments:

kga245 (July 17, 2006. 10:16pm)

It's really difficult as a kid to establish your own identity apart from what you're surrounded by. This takes guts as much as it does anything else. Good on ya.

jfboyd (July 18, 2006. 12:09am)

Thank you for that, kga! My goal is always not to force my opinions on anyone about the way the universe operates, since I had to deal with that for years and years. :)

BrianZimm (August 31, 2006. 08:05pm)

Nice story, I also dealt with many questions and still do. My parents allowed me to investigate many religons and didn't force me into anything. I was also turned off to religon as each one tends to feel that it's the only one right. That thought in itself is pretty pretentious to me. I don't blame religious people, I blame organizers of religion.

BrianZimm (August 31, 2006. 08:07pm)

Nice story, I also dealt with many questions and still do. My parents allowed me to investigate many religons and didn't force me into anything. I was also turned off to religon as each one tends to feel that it's the only one right. That thought in itself is pretty pretentious to me. I don't blame religious people, I blame organizers of religion.

moby (October 14, 2006. 08:26am)

I like this and much agreed.
It's a great feeling to have made that choice and to be free.

san (October 19, 2006. 09:41pm)

i liked the story but for me, my faith has always worked. Though i prefer to avoid religious activities, yet I have deep faith in the supreme power.