"I'll Stop The World And Meltdown With You"  − 1 March, 2006

Heather's parents had gotten me a one year pass to the San Diego Wild Animal Park for Christmas of '05.  She and I decided that I should round up my nieces and Micaela and take them down to the zoo for the day.  I believe this was the first major trip that I had taken with Micaela, meaning I handn't not spent an entire day with her up to this point.  It was the first time that I had spent any significant time alone with my nieces as well.  I was not sure what to expect.

The day started well enough.  We drove down there in the Toyota Sequoia and had a good time on the road trip.  The girls were excited about our day out together.  We got to the park and spent the morning walking around and checking things out.  I think that we managed to get through about two hours when it was time to have lunch.

Now, if you know Micaela, you know that she doesn't eat just anything.  The deal was, eat everything and you can get something from the gift shop.  She seemed to be agreeable to that.  We got the girls hotdogs and drinks and went to sit down.  As they unwrapped their hotdogs, Micaela realized that there were sesame seeds on the bun.  "I can't eat this, it has these seeds on it."  Heather and I tried to tell her that it was ok, they didn't really taste, she got more upset.  We then said to eat just the hotdog and not the bun, as my niece was doing.  That didn't fly either. 

We let her sit there for a while as we ate.  When my nieces were done, I said "OK, let's go get something from the gift shop."  Micaela started to get up and Heather said, "not you, you didn't finish your food, you don't get to get something from the gift shop."  That's when all hell broke loose.  She started crying and yelling that it wasn't fair that they got something and she didn't.  As we tried to explain the concept of "a deal" she got so mad that she kicked the chair that Heather was sitting in. 

Heather told her that she was on restriction.  I don't know if Micaela even knew what that was, she had never been on restriction before.  She just knew that it had to be bad.  That's when she went into full meltdown mode and was crying and throwing a fit.  I left and took the girls into the gift shop.

As I stood in the gift shop, I watched through the window and Micaela pleaded with Heather to get her a toy.  When that failed, she ran off to a picnic bench about 20 feet away.  My nieces and I came out of the gift shop and over to the table.  Heather was so pissed and embarrassed. 

I figured that I would take s shot at trying to calm Micaela down.  I went over and she pleaded to tell me her side of the story.  I listened.  She went on and on about how it wasn't fair and she really wanted a stuffed animal.  I did my best not to interrupt.  I then told her that she didn't hold up her end of the deal and that her behavior was unacceptable.  She cried and cried.  I tried to calm her down, "just breathe, in and out, in and out."  It was working.  As she started to calm down, she realized how embarrassed she was about crying so much.  Then she started crying again.  I couldn't believe it, I didn't know what to do.  I sat and held her for a long time.  I finally had to force her to leave the table she was at and head back to the girls.  It was all I could do to get her to move. 

As we all started walking, my niece "K" said to Micaela "why were you crying".  I cringed and looked at Miceala.  She started bawling again.  I thought we would never get out of there, but I finally got her calmed down and we headed out.

From the moment she said "I can't eat this" to the moment that we were actually able to get up and leave the eating location was an hour and a half.  I had never seen a kid meltdown like that before, which isn't saying much since I was an only child.... and I was an angle for that matter.  I would be lying if I didn't think twice about what I was getting into, but I managed to stick it out. 

So far nothing has been as bad as this day.

Comments:

kmakice (March 15, 2007. 10:39pm)

Take solace in the excellent song reference.

kga245 (March 15, 2007. 11:38pm)

I have so much to look forward to. :-)

kga245 (March 15, 2007. 11:40pm)

You know, one of the things that I think you do really well with Micaela is to talk with her like she's an adult. I like that fact that you just sat and listened to her. That's good parenting. It's also good parenting not to give in at a time like that too. If they know they can embarrass you enough to give in to their desires, you'll have worse things to deal with later on. These, of course, are the observations of someone who has not yet had children - so take them with a grain of salt.

wade1j (March 15, 2007. 11:43pm)

I often find that the times that she gets the most mad at me is when I'm not listening to what she is saying. I sometimes forget that if someone was constantly telling me what to do, i'd get pissed too. I then stop and listen, even if i don't agree and she doesn't get what she wants, she gets to tell her side of the story. It helps.