The Switch − 2 April, 2007
So I have had this dilemma. I have been sober for a number of years now, and I have been relatively happy up to this point with the direction that I have been headed in.
I've also had to switch sponsors 2 times in the past 3 months. My first sponsor here when I moved here was fantastic. We got it. I mean he knew me, and I knew him, and there was no B.S. He moved and now I have to find a new one. So I do, and it's all good for a little while. Then I start to see things that I am not necessarily happy about. Fraternity things like paddling new guys that move into the sober house we had in our family and things like that. Ok, well it's not what I would do, but I'm not one to judge. Then I start feeling this pressure to do things that they do, how they do them, and if I don't then I just don't fit in. Interesting. I didn't know that I was in High School, or at some college, and the idea of the fraternity seemed to me more and more appropriate. I realized what was happening. I was getting in the middle of it all, and I was feeling the pressure and I was trying to be something that I am not. I'm not a frat guy, I wasn't in college (though I started one) and I'm not now. Solution? Find a sponsor that isn't building a social network through sponsees. Find sobriety that I can relate to. See this is the thing. They have their thing, and well, frankly it gets people sober. Lots of them. It's good for those that want it. It's good because it gives someone some where to go, and things to do when they only know one thing. How to go and drink. That's not me though. I'm established and I want more from life than that. Not that it's limited. It's just that I want more than an AA existance. I want to be able to walk through the entire world sober with God, and live every part of life that there is to live.
So I switched again. Found a guy with a lot of time and bam. His first direction was to find guys to sponsor, help others, pray and pass it on. Imagine that. Heh. I'm cool once again.
I've also had to switch sponsors 2 times in the past 3 months. My first sponsor here when I moved here was fantastic. We got it. I mean he knew me, and I knew him, and there was no B.S. He moved and now I have to find a new one. So I do, and it's all good for a little while. Then I start to see things that I am not necessarily happy about. Fraternity things like paddling new guys that move into the sober house we had in our family and things like that. Ok, well it's not what I would do, but I'm not one to judge. Then I start feeling this pressure to do things that they do, how they do them, and if I don't then I just don't fit in. Interesting. I didn't know that I was in High School, or at some college, and the idea of the fraternity seemed to me more and more appropriate. I realized what was happening. I was getting in the middle of it all, and I was feeling the pressure and I was trying to be something that I am not. I'm not a frat guy, I wasn't in college (though I started one) and I'm not now. Solution? Find a sponsor that isn't building a social network through sponsees. Find sobriety that I can relate to. See this is the thing. They have their thing, and well, frankly it gets people sober. Lots of them. It's good for those that want it. It's good because it gives someone some where to go, and things to do when they only know one thing. How to go and drink. That's not me though. I'm established and I want more from life than that. Not that it's limited. It's just that I want more than an AA existance. I want to be able to walk through the entire world sober with God, and live every part of life that there is to live.
So I switched again. Found a guy with a lot of time and bam. His first direction was to find guys to sponsor, help others, pray and pass it on. Imagine that. Heh. I'm cool once again.
