That's what I had always heard. At the end of my senior year of college I entered the Air Force as a 2nd Lieutenant with visions of being stationed in Germany. I was no fool, though, I would have taken any exotic location -- which meant anything outside the continental United States.
Oh, there were all sorts of great locations for a new communications officer to be assigned. I filled out my dream sheet with several locations in Germany, Spain, and Italy. I even included a caveat that I would go anywhere overseas. Anywhere. I just knew I would get one of the many positions in Germany, though.
The day finally came when assignments were handed out. I ripped open the envelope, and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but assignment orders to Ohio. Ohio?! What the fuck? Ohio wasn't even on the list as a choice! How the hell did this happen?
Someone in Personnel really hated me. Still don't know who the bastard was, though.
I resigned myself to putting in my time in Ohio. Before starting in Ohio, I did have a brief four-month stint in Biloxi, Mississippi, for additional training. From August to November. If you've never been to Biloxi, don't ever go during those four months. The humidity was so bad that I can't even think up a humorous metaphor for it.
I don't really have much to say about my time in Biloxi -- I just didn't have much time to travel around and sight-see. My initial impression wasn't good, though. When I first checked into my room, I looked around and thought, Nice, they left chocolates on the pillows! Then the chocolates scurried off the pillow and under the bed. Not that I minded sharing my room with a thousand cockroaches, I just wished they didn't use all the hot water.
A couple of my classmates and I did make it to New Orleans once or twice. Ah, yes, fond memories of food poisoning and having my stomach pumped.
The bright spot of those four months was when my (then) girlfriend flew out to visit me and I proposed to her at Stennis Space Center. Hey, it WAS romantic, dammit! She's a space geek and loves that crap. I had to stack the deck in my favor any way I could.
After that, it was off to spend the next two years in Ohio. I am ashamed to say, for all that time I never went anywhere or did anything other than work. My wife was stationed in Texas at the time, so I didn't even need a kitchen pass.
If you're ever in Dayton, Ohio, I can pass on this little tidbit: go to Tank's Bar & Grill. It is a nasty-looking little hole-in-the-wall bar with the best Reubens I have ever had. Good selection of beer, too.
After my tour in Ohio was up, my wife and I worked to get stationed together for our next assignment (Join Spouse for all you military-types). We told Personnel we would go ANYWHERE, except Colorado and the Pentagon. We didn't want Colorado because we're both from there and wanted to go somewhere new. And the Pentagon was a no-go simply because it is a bad, bad place for junior officers. If Colonels are the ones making the coffee there, can you even imagine what shit jobs lieutenants would have?
Personnel came back to us with the following choices: Colorado or the Pentagon. The cock sucker that hates me was still on the job.
We decided that Colorado was the lesser of two evils.
Join the military and see world? Not in my experience. Things were different back in the Cold War days. Ah, the Cold War... the good ol' days when we knew exactly who the enemy was and where to point the nukes. Not to mention that we could bully our way into any country we wanted and give all our military personnel really cool overseas assignments. Chickenshit commies ruined everything. Pussies.
Comments:
Rebeca (April 29, 2008. 12:23am)
It's good marketing though. I can imagine military marketing personnel thinking: How can we say "working for less than minimum wage"? Adventure! How about "wherever the hell we please"? The world! Anyway, did the place even matter once you two were finally stationed together?
intrepideddie (April 29, 2008. 04:42am)
Heh, too true. And, yeah, once we were finally together it didn't really matter. For a while, though, we were questioning whether we'd even get stationed together. They don't make it easy. At all.