Completed Secondary School − 31 December, 1991
Ok, unofficially, Secondary School ended for me when the end-of-the-year (Nov/Dec) holidays began. But according to the Powers That Be, I didn't officially graduate until the last day of the calendar year.
In my Leaving Certificate, my 4 years were summarised into 2 lines :
"A capable pupil. Given any task, Faith can be counted on to do her best."
I bet hundreds of other kids got that line, or something similar. I wasn't particularly inspired or felt remotely affirmed.
However, what made me sit and cry was to read my Literature teacher's 5 page long entry in my 'autograph' book. You know, this notebook that girls like to pass around and have people fill in with pithy nonsense like "let's always stay true." or "friends forever...".
She took it and asked if she could bring it home. Then proceeded to fill 5 pages worth of handwritten, personal memories of the 2 years she spent teaching me Literature. She told me she saw a lot of potential in me; that I could do so much, if only I could believe in myself. She wrote about her dreams for me, and that if she had the power to grant me one thing, it was to see myself with God's eyes, and not sell myself short.
I wish I still had that autograph book, at least those precious 5 pages.
But I threw it out. It was one of those days when I battled with my identity and my bouts of depression. And looking at the good things in my past just triggered too many associated bad memories. At that time, it was easier to throw everything out. I wasn't capable of sifting yet.
Today, I am, but during those tumultous years, I threw away too much. Too much.
Comments:
nitesh (July 17, 2006. 10:30am)
That is really touching.
I think they were not mere 5 pages but a lifetime testimonial for you.
faithtoh (July 20, 2006. 12:03pm)
Yes. And today I try to do the same for the at-risk youth I encounter -- to take the time and effort to see the potential within each of them, and tell them. It may not effect immediate change, but I'm hoping for a ripple effect that will change their futures for the better.