Wondering When − 20 May, 2007
I've been trying for a long time to make myself "Better" and realize this dream state of being where I can do no wrong, where I always make the right choice, and I m some kind of ultimate Moral Man. The superhero that makes everything so much better.
Well,
That's not going to happen.
I realized this morning that I am human. Yes, I've been fighting this idea for some time now. But it's true. Once I get over the realization that I am like the rest of you I will get on with living and enjoying my life that I too have been given.
I realize that I have many addictions, and that they are a compensation for something. I've kicked alcohol, I've kicked stealing, I've kicked other things. But there is always something else, and I realized this morning that it's actually just a fight against them for me for the rest of my life.
That sounds really bad doesn't it?
It's not.
We all have to do this. We all have to fight against something. Food addiction, Porn, Family, something that we need to feel better. Well, that's ok. We all have to fight against selfishness.
Now here's the cool part.
I've accepted this, I know this, and now I am willing to not just put up with it, but also to fight the fight where ever it is, and live a real life.
Well,
That's not going to happen.
I realized this morning that I am human. Yes, I've been fighting this idea for some time now. But it's true. Once I get over the realization that I am like the rest of you I will get on with living and enjoying my life that I too have been given.
I realize that I have many addictions, and that they are a compensation for something. I've kicked alcohol, I've kicked stealing, I've kicked other things. But there is always something else, and I realized this morning that it's actually just a fight against them for me for the rest of my life.
That sounds really bad doesn't it?
It's not.
We all have to do this. We all have to fight against something. Food addiction, Porn, Family, something that we need to feel better. Well, that's ok. We all have to fight against selfishness.
Now here's the cool part.
I've accepted this, I know this, and now I am willing to not just put up with it, but also to fight the fight where ever it is, and live a real life.
