Timing − 16 July, 2007
So I'm reading a really great book called "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge. It was given to me by a really good friend who thinks that it reminds hime of me. Funny, I was all puffed out like a strutting bird when he said that, then I read on, and find thta it actually addresses those parts of me that I wish I didn't know were there.
It talks about this question that most me have. Do I have what it takes? Am I really tough? Am I really a Man?
Heh. Needless to say I was thinking "Hey Asshole! What the Heck!" Then I read on... Now I don't know which side he thinks I fall on, but there seems to be this division of men who know they have it, and those that are still searching. The author goes on to explain how a man can not only find out, but then actually get the answer that we of course want. Fight for God. Yea man. That sounds like something that I would like to do. As soon as I get off the couch.
Well God had an answer this time. I attended 2 meetings just after getting to that section. The first was about faith, the second about action. Damn. I know what's coming. See every time that happens God is setting me up. Well, lets stay positive here. He's preparing me.
My Dad called. Now I have actually done a good bit of work in that area, and can say that I am actually comfortable there, but the book says that the answer that we get (I'm not a man) usually comes from our fathers, and it's usually a resounding No. The reasoning in the book is that the fathers are usually asking the same question, and they therefore use their sons as a way to gain their feelings of being a man. Yea, alot of psycho bable to me, but it actually seemed to make sense to me. So I faced it. I went head on to it, hell lets really give it a try.
Dad it seems needed help at work, real work, construction, building a hospital. That's the kind of construction he does. So I head down to the job site, and actually feel myself click back into the old role of "Daddy's Little Helper!!!" At 30 years old! Now I know my way around a job site. I worked construction for years through college, have built houses, and done a bunch of other stuff, and yet there it was, same reaction, same feelings of not knowing what I was doing, and knowing that I wasn't going to be able to do whatever it was that he needed me to do. Heh. Ok, so I actually show up and he teaches me what to do. It's actually pretty technical, he's in product development, so there was actual data gathering, measuring, and not just swinging a hammer. Of course I learned it, and was able to accomplish the task. To my surprise, so well that he paid me, and I have been back at the site with one of the actual scientists doing the experimentation, and Dad is somewhere north working on another job.
I have to say that there is actually something to the book for me, and it's bringing me even closer to God. Not to mention that I now seem to ahve a sponsee in the program too. Talk about reversing roles, and thought patterns. Heh. Yea, God seems to have set me up once again, and once again I am thankful.
So I am off to Canada soon for my first vacation in 10 years. I'm thinking that there will be something else in store for me there.
I also spent the weekend with Quynh's Dad. I have to say that he is a pretty cool guy, and I am looking forward to being his Son in Law.
D
It talks about this question that most me have. Do I have what it takes? Am I really tough? Am I really a Man?
Heh. Needless to say I was thinking "Hey Asshole! What the Heck!" Then I read on... Now I don't know which side he thinks I fall on, but there seems to be this division of men who know they have it, and those that are still searching. The author goes on to explain how a man can not only find out, but then actually get the answer that we of course want. Fight for God. Yea man. That sounds like something that I would like to do. As soon as I get off the couch.
Well God had an answer this time. I attended 2 meetings just after getting to that section. The first was about faith, the second about action. Damn. I know what's coming. See every time that happens God is setting me up. Well, lets stay positive here. He's preparing me.
My Dad called. Now I have actually done a good bit of work in that area, and can say that I am actually comfortable there, but the book says that the answer that we get (I'm not a man) usually comes from our fathers, and it's usually a resounding No. The reasoning in the book is that the fathers are usually asking the same question, and they therefore use their sons as a way to gain their feelings of being a man. Yea, alot of psycho bable to me, but it actually seemed to make sense to me. So I faced it. I went head on to it, hell lets really give it a try.
Dad it seems needed help at work, real work, construction, building a hospital. That's the kind of construction he does. So I head down to the job site, and actually feel myself click back into the old role of "Daddy's Little Helper!!!" At 30 years old! Now I know my way around a job site. I worked construction for years through college, have built houses, and done a bunch of other stuff, and yet there it was, same reaction, same feelings of not knowing what I was doing, and knowing that I wasn't going to be able to do whatever it was that he needed me to do. Heh. Ok, so I actually show up and he teaches me what to do. It's actually pretty technical, he's in product development, so there was actual data gathering, measuring, and not just swinging a hammer. Of course I learned it, and was able to accomplish the task. To my surprise, so well that he paid me, and I have been back at the site with one of the actual scientists doing the experimentation, and Dad is somewhere north working on another job.
I have to say that there is actually something to the book for me, and it's bringing me even closer to God. Not to mention that I now seem to ahve a sponsee in the program too. Talk about reversing roles, and thought patterns. Heh. Yea, God seems to have set me up once again, and once again I am thankful.
So I am off to Canada soon for my first vacation in 10 years. I'm thinking that there will be something else in store for me there.
I also spent the weekend with Quynh's Dad. I have to say that he is a pretty cool guy, and I am looking forward to being his Son in Law.
D
