The End of the Beginning − 14 August, 2007
Well, today my summer came to an end.
It was my first day back at work.
I'm a middle school science teacher. In the past 3 years, I've spent most of my summers getting my professional certification. Well, that was accomplished months ago. I thought I'd have my first free summer, and get to work on recording my third Jamendo album. My two previous albums hit the 1000-download mark in July; I had been practicing like mad most of the spring; I even learned a new branch of music theory. I was really looking forward to finally getting started.
It didn't happen.
For those of you just joining me here at Dandelife, or reading one of my entries for the first time, let me just summarize -- you can hit the timeline for my stories and see it was a pretty rough flight.
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, then sleep apnea; I finally got help, but things didn't really clear up until the end of June.
About that time, my Mom got sick with some currently unknown ailment -- she's still suffering some of the symptoms, but has tested clear for heart disease or arterial blockages.
It's not easy dealing with a problem like that. I come from a small family unit -- I'm an only child. There's only me, Mom, and Dad. Counting my wife, that makes four. We haven't even got enough people for a basketball team! So when you get to that point in your life where you not only have to contemplate your own mortality, but that of your parents as well --
Let's just say it was a dark time.
In the end, music is one of the brightest lights in my life. If someone asked, honestly, what do I live for, it's that moment of creation, when the music flows and your thoughts seem to catch fire and burst into being through your instrument. And I know that feeling well by now -- I gave up counting individual instrument types a while back and just shifted to categories, and say that I play bass, guitar, keys, and drums.
But, being a one man band, progress in recording an album is slow.
Years ago, I could get an idea and finish a song in two or three days. Today -- the process literally takes weeks. I use sort of a scientific method for it -- I take an idea, perform an experiment (some modification or creative twist on the idea), then listen and see if the song is "speaking" to me, becoming its own entity. I keep repeating this until it locks in, somehow, and I can hear it even before the first note is recorded.
Still, that means recording every part -- myself. Perfectly, the way I hear it. I will sometimes go back and record a track 20 times or more, until I like it and think it can't be improved.
So, in the end -- having only actually had about 4 weeks, total, to work -- I've only finished two songs. And even those aren't mixed down in final form yet.
I think I mentioned before, I've considered changing the name of my next album to The Long Twilight Struggle. Originally the idea came to me because of the sleep apnea. But now, as my time with the muse is restricted to a few hurried hours in the evening, that have to be guarded jealously in order to survive at all -- the title acquires a new shade of meaning . . . .
On the other hand, there is part of me that is certainly glad to get back to work. Last year's sixth grade class was incredible. In some ways, though the music is a joy, it's impossible to be creative with just the music alone. Many times, the fire that flows through the song comes from experience, memory, and perception.
It's life that makes the music.
So maybe this is not the end, just the end of the beginning.
It was my first day back at work.
I'm a middle school science teacher. In the past 3 years, I've spent most of my summers getting my professional certification. Well, that was accomplished months ago. I thought I'd have my first free summer, and get to work on recording my third Jamendo album. My two previous albums hit the 1000-download mark in July; I had been practicing like mad most of the spring; I even learned a new branch of music theory. I was really looking forward to finally getting started.
It didn't happen.
For those of you just joining me here at Dandelife, or reading one of my entries for the first time, let me just summarize -- you can hit the timeline for my stories and see it was a pretty rough flight.
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, then sleep apnea; I finally got help, but things didn't really clear up until the end of June.
About that time, my Mom got sick with some currently unknown ailment -- she's still suffering some of the symptoms, but has tested clear for heart disease or arterial blockages.
It's not easy dealing with a problem like that. I come from a small family unit -- I'm an only child. There's only me, Mom, and Dad. Counting my wife, that makes four. We haven't even got enough people for a basketball team! So when you get to that point in your life where you not only have to contemplate your own mortality, but that of your parents as well --
Let's just say it was a dark time.
In the end, music is one of the brightest lights in my life. If someone asked, honestly, what do I live for, it's that moment of creation, when the music flows and your thoughts seem to catch fire and burst into being through your instrument. And I know that feeling well by now -- I gave up counting individual instrument types a while back and just shifted to categories, and say that I play bass, guitar, keys, and drums.
But, being a one man band, progress in recording an album is slow.
Years ago, I could get an idea and finish a song in two or three days. Today -- the process literally takes weeks. I use sort of a scientific method for it -- I take an idea, perform an experiment (some modification or creative twist on the idea), then listen and see if the song is "speaking" to me, becoming its own entity. I keep repeating this until it locks in, somehow, and I can hear it even before the first note is recorded.
Still, that means recording every part -- myself. Perfectly, the way I hear it. I will sometimes go back and record a track 20 times or more, until I like it and think it can't be improved.
So, in the end -- having only actually had about 4 weeks, total, to work -- I've only finished two songs. And even those aren't mixed down in final form yet.
I think I mentioned before, I've considered changing the name of my next album to The Long Twilight Struggle. Originally the idea came to me because of the sleep apnea. But now, as my time with the muse is restricted to a few hurried hours in the evening, that have to be guarded jealously in order to survive at all -- the title acquires a new shade of meaning . . . .
On the other hand, there is part of me that is certainly glad to get back to work. Last year's sixth grade class was incredible. In some ways, though the music is a joy, it's impossible to be creative with just the music alone. Many times, the fire that flows through the song comes from experience, memory, and perception.
It's life that makes the music.
So maybe this is not the end, just the end of the beginning.
Comments:
Electronic Goose (August 14, 2007. 12:45am)
From the way I perceive you through your writings, it's all about to begin again.