Two Blue Lines − June, 2002
"What do two blue lines mean?"
"Pregnant."
I think he is fooling. Or reading the instructions wrong. I shake the white plastic stick. Maybe it is wrong.
"No."
"Yes." He looks up at me from the floor. "What does it say?"
"Two blue-"
I can't say it. A laugh bubbles up in my throat - A laugh! I clap my hand over my mouth. It is not glee. It is hysteria. The giggles escape through my fingers. Peter is bewildered. I jump up and hug him, to bury my face in his chest, to quell my laughter, to hide my face. His arms close around me like a gate that locks out the world. And my laughter turns to tears, great oceans of tears. I cry for all the reasons that Peter does not know, I cry because, although he is here, I am really alone with this and with my secrets and I have really been alone with him all along. Peter shushes me, resting his chin on my head, rubbing my arms.
"It's okay. This is wonderful."
"Pregnant."
I think he is fooling. Or reading the instructions wrong. I shake the white plastic stick. Maybe it is wrong.
"No."
"Yes." He looks up at me from the floor. "What does it say?"
"Two blue-"
I can't say it. A laugh bubbles up in my throat - A laugh! I clap my hand over my mouth. It is not glee. It is hysteria. The giggles escape through my fingers. Peter is bewildered. I jump up and hug him, to bury my face in his chest, to quell my laughter, to hide my face. His arms close around me like a gate that locks out the world. And my laughter turns to tears, great oceans of tears. I cry for all the reasons that Peter does not know, I cry because, although he is here, I am really alone with this and with my secrets and I have really been alone with him all along. Peter shushes me, resting his chin on my head, rubbing my arms.
"It's okay. This is wonderful."
