The Fallen Mirror − 24 December, 2007
I awoke this morning from a dream in which I was Jesus Christ. I don't know if it was the yuletide atmosphere that provoked it, but it was certainly a first. Oddly enough, the fact that I was Jesus was irrelevant to the dream.
I was climbing this ladder that jutted impossibly from a massive parking lot. Below me, a girl stood grasping the base of the ladder and as she looked up at me through squinted eyes, one hand cupped to her forehead to shield herself from the sun, her pale face grew smaller as I rose higher. Far above me, high on the crooked ladder, almost lost in the expanse of clouds, was another girl. A white dress clung to her like a straight jacket, its frills and lace catching the wind and pulling her to one side. But still she climbed.
I scrambled up the ladder as quickly as I could, but I knew that I would never make it. I paused a moment to catch my breath, knowing that I was wasting precious seconds. Wind whipped at my face through the wooden rungs and stung my eyes. She was so high up. Desperation stuck in my heart like a pin. I had to reach her.
But the girl had stopped climbing. A few rungs above her, tied to the ladder with a rust-colored rope, was a mirror. I didn't know what this could mean, but I redoubled my efforts, and flew up the remaining steps. To my horror, she let go of the ladder, and placed her hands upon the shimmering surface of the mirror. It rippled like the surface of a pond, and soon she had slipped inside it. My fingertips brushed her ankle, but she was gone. I pulled myself up with the intent to follow her, but before I could so much as place my hands on the frame for support, a strong wind screamed across the parking lot. There was the sound of breaking wood, and the ladder began to fall. The mirror broke free of its restraints, and we both fell through the air. If I could just a hold of it...
But luck wasn't on my side. I hit the pavement hard, and rolled into a useless pile. Bits of the ruined ladder landed around me. I looked up in time to see the mirror crash against the ground before sliding beneath a car.
I didn't hear and glass break. Please let it be okay...
I crawled on bleeding hands across the parking lot. Every inch I gained was like moving across knives, but I didn't stop. After an eternity of crawling across hot pavement, I came to the car. I could make out the wooden frame of the mirror beneath it. It looked unharmed. Silently I hoped that it really was. With a deep breath I brought out the fallen mirror and was overcome by a triumphant exaltation. Miraculously, the glass had survived the fall. But still there was something wrong. I placed my hands on the glass.
Nothing. Nothing but a pair of bloody hand prints, and an exhausted look of disbelief behind a tangled beard.
"No!"
I pounded my fists against it, but still there was nothing.
"No, no, no..."
I struck it again and again, each time deepening the spider web of cracks growing across the surface, until shards of glass loosed from the frame embedded themselves into my hands. I looked upon the mess, at the pile of bloody, broken glass in front of me, and a single, defeated sob escaped from my bleeding lips. I heard footsteps from behind me. I turned, and saw the other girl, she who'd remained on the ground, watching me with those pale eyes.
"I couldn't... I'm sorry, I couldn't..."
Then I woke up to The Shins blaring from the kitchen.
I was climbing this ladder that jutted impossibly from a massive parking lot. Below me, a girl stood grasping the base of the ladder and as she looked up at me through squinted eyes, one hand cupped to her forehead to shield herself from the sun, her pale face grew smaller as I rose higher. Far above me, high on the crooked ladder, almost lost in the expanse of clouds, was another girl. A white dress clung to her like a straight jacket, its frills and lace catching the wind and pulling her to one side. But still she climbed.
I scrambled up the ladder as quickly as I could, but I knew that I would never make it. I paused a moment to catch my breath, knowing that I was wasting precious seconds. Wind whipped at my face through the wooden rungs and stung my eyes. She was so high up. Desperation stuck in my heart like a pin. I had to reach her.
But the girl had stopped climbing. A few rungs above her, tied to the ladder with a rust-colored rope, was a mirror. I didn't know what this could mean, but I redoubled my efforts, and flew up the remaining steps. To my horror, she let go of the ladder, and placed her hands upon the shimmering surface of the mirror. It rippled like the surface of a pond, and soon she had slipped inside it. My fingertips brushed her ankle, but she was gone. I pulled myself up with the intent to follow her, but before I could so much as place my hands on the frame for support, a strong wind screamed across the parking lot. There was the sound of breaking wood, and the ladder began to fall. The mirror broke free of its restraints, and we both fell through the air. If I could just a hold of it...
But luck wasn't on my side. I hit the pavement hard, and rolled into a useless pile. Bits of the ruined ladder landed around me. I looked up in time to see the mirror crash against the ground before sliding beneath a car.
I didn't hear and glass break. Please let it be okay...
I crawled on bleeding hands across the parking lot. Every inch I gained was like moving across knives, but I didn't stop. After an eternity of crawling across hot pavement, I came to the car. I could make out the wooden frame of the mirror beneath it. It looked unharmed. Silently I hoped that it really was. With a deep breath I brought out the fallen mirror and was overcome by a triumphant exaltation. Miraculously, the glass had survived the fall. But still there was something wrong. I placed my hands on the glass.
Nothing. Nothing but a pair of bloody hand prints, and an exhausted look of disbelief behind a tangled beard.
"No!"
I pounded my fists against it, but still there was nothing.
"No, no, no..."
I struck it again and again, each time deepening the spider web of cracks growing across the surface, until shards of glass loosed from the frame embedded themselves into my hands. I looked upon the mess, at the pile of bloody, broken glass in front of me, and a single, defeated sob escaped from my bleeding lips. I heard footsteps from behind me. I turned, and saw the other girl, she who'd remained on the ground, watching me with those pale eyes.
"I couldn't... I'm sorry, I couldn't..."
Then I woke up to The Shins blaring from the kitchen.
