Kids Don't Like Clowns - Big Surprise  − 24 January, 2008

So a new study in Britain found that kids “universally dislike” clowns. Du-uh. Any kid could’ve told you that. I don’t understand how it is that parents always think clowns are so funny or cute and appropriate for kids. In fact, quite a lot of parents don’t like clowns!
They are freakish and scary and their facial expressions are frightening and body language disturbing. They look garish and unnatural and are unpredictable.
No wonder so many people are frightened of them, and especially children who are just learning their world and a clown throws a big monkey wrench into that. They don’t act like humans or even animals – and so how is a child supposed to know how to perceive or interact with a clown?
They aren’t funny. Or cute. Or charming. I am surprised that the Scandinavian countries that have outlawed The Wizard of Oz and Charley and the Chocolate Factory have not banned clowns, too. They are as much the stuff of nightmares as the flying monkeys and oompa-loompahs. They are scary enough to hide in your closet or under your bed at night, and we all know how terrifyingly long and sleepless those nights become when you are 8.
Why torture and frighten kids without reason. The real world is scary enough, with plenty of clowns to deal with when they are adults. No need to terrify them prematurely. Sometimes exposure to a clown at a delicate age can produce a phobia – sometimes so intense it interferes with daily life. With all the potential neurosis-inducing events sure to come up in your child’s future, there is no need to instill one on purpose just because you have the erroneous impression that clowns are somehow attractive.
Perhaps clown school should teach better makeup and behavior to make clowns less scary. It seems to be the garish, exaggerated makeup and the unpredictable behavior that is most frightening. Perhaps they could identify what characteristics are more kid-friendly and play those up. Turn the clown into something less trauma-inducing. Of course, then it might not be so “clownish” …
So stop hiring clowns for birthday parties or decorating your kid’s room with them, and maybe we can make the world a little less scary for the innocent.