Runaway − 27 January, 2008
My mother told me that when she found out that she was pregnant with me, she debated whether or not she should tell my father. She didn't think he would want a child. He was only eighteen, and wasn't the most responsible. She was going to pack up and move to Illinois with her dad, hundreds of miles from her friends and family. But she didn't. She told him about it, and, to her surprise, he was thrilled. When I heard this, I was overcome with respect for my father, and resentment toward my mother, though I understood her reasoning.
I recently found out that I'm going to be a father. I say this, and it feels like I'm talking about someone else. The foundations of my life are to be ripped up and replaced, and I can do nothing but stand outside myself. It hasn't quite sunk in yet. As of now, I'm numb, but I can feel fear and apprehension beginning to tug at my heart.
How do you be a parent?
Comments:
kga245 (January 29, 2008. 05:23am)
Well, you've done the first part. That was the easy part. Being a new parent myself, all I can say is that it takes as many people as you can to raise a kid. To be a parent, all it takes is you. Once you have a kid, your life is no longer about you. Any part of it that was just about you before isn't gone. It just takes a back seat the the rest. For the next 18 years anyway.
Oblivious (January 29, 2008. 05:26am)
Luckily, I have an army of people that would do anything to help me. In that sense I feel luckier than most. I think this kid is what I needed. I feel like a real person now.
jenna_martin (January 31, 2008. 03:09pm)
It's the scariest thing I've ever done! I think that just about every first-time parent feels that way, so don't be too rough on yourself. And it may not sink in until you actually meet the little peanut, so just hang in there. It's true that your life has suddenly taken the back seat, but, I'm telling you, there is nothing more fulfilling and joyful than loving someone else more than you love yourself. I never knew the kind of love I have for my children before they came around. I love my parents and brothers intensely. I love my husband passionately and deeply. But I knew the moment I met my first child that I would die for him without hesitation, if need be. My heart didn't feel big enough for the love I felt for him. We have three awesome children now. All of them "surprises". Talk about fear and apprehension! You just take it all one day at a time. There may be times when you wonder how you're going to make it through the day, longing for some time to yourself, feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility of parenthood...and then you'll think to yourself that time goes by so quickly and they grow up so fast! There are those moments that make you wish that the short time we get to spend with these amazing little people didn't pass so quickly. And you'll realize that you can't imagine your life without them. Hang in there. You don't know how blessed you are yet.
sincerely,
a complete stranger ; )
intrepideddie (February 11, 2008. 04:26am)
I'm not sure it ever really sinks in. It hasn't for me, anyway. Every now and then, I look at my two kids (one is 3yrs, other is 11mos) and think, "I have kids?! When the hell did this happen?" When you have kids, your life exists in a weird time warp: one day your little baby is a tiny little thing, barely able to roll over, and then all of a sudden he's a toddler describing to you the dinosaur he discovered in his sandbox. Take lots of pictures and document everything. Most importantly, enjoy fatherhood!
Oblivious (February 11, 2008. 05:59pm)
Thanks, guys.