Just Lie Next Time − June, 2007
One day I had a bright idea. I would take a friend who was afraid of water kayaking. Then she had a bright idea. She would take the tippier of two kayaks. I was not happy, but let her talk me into it. Here’s what happened.
She did fine at first. She struggled a little with her paddling technique, but she was having fun. While I wasn’t looking, she tipped. I’d thought this was shallow water, but when I jumped out of my kayak to save her, I found out otherwise. It was over our heads.
I didn’t know whether she could swim. She was struggling in the water. I wrapped one arm around her and began to paddle towards shore. I realized that if she panicked, she could put me in danger of drowning. But she did not panic. She was face up, and her arms moved in the water. When we reached shore, she seemed to be OK. She told me that she knew how to swim, and had been paddling.
When I dropped her off at her house, she thanked me and insisted that I shouldn’t feel bad. But I felt terrible. I’d been irresponsible, and had put someone’s life in danger.
The next time I saw her all she could talk about was the accident. She explained that when she’d tipped over, she had been unable to extricate herself from the kayak. She had been upside down under water struggling and holding her breath for a long time. While she was under water, she told herself that she had to get out. It was a matter of life and death.
For weeks after the accident, whenever I’d see her, it would come up. I grew to dread the topic. When I saw here after returning from a two-and-a-half week camping and kayaking trip, the fact that I’d kayaked on one of the Great Lakes by myself horrified her. The whole topic of kayaking was becoming toxic.
One evening, when she asked me what I’d done that day and I told her I’d kayaked, she asked me to lie next time. She didn’t even want to know I’d gone kayaking. . When I was growing up, my mom told me that I had no common sense. She was sure that someday I was going to kill someone. This is about the closest I’ve ever come.
The silver lining to this story is that having survived a potential drowning had caused my friend to see life differently. Knowing that she could survive had changed her life for the better. I was glad, but I still dread that topic.
She did fine at first. She struggled a little with her paddling technique, but she was having fun. While I wasn’t looking, she tipped. I’d thought this was shallow water, but when I jumped out of my kayak to save her, I found out otherwise. It was over our heads.
I didn’t know whether she could swim. She was struggling in the water. I wrapped one arm around her and began to paddle towards shore. I realized that if she panicked, she could put me in danger of drowning. But she did not panic. She was face up, and her arms moved in the water. When we reached shore, she seemed to be OK. She told me that she knew how to swim, and had been paddling.
When I dropped her off at her house, she thanked me and insisted that I shouldn’t feel bad. But I felt terrible. I’d been irresponsible, and had put someone’s life in danger.
The next time I saw her all she could talk about was the accident. She explained that when she’d tipped over, she had been unable to extricate herself from the kayak. She had been upside down under water struggling and holding her breath for a long time. While she was under water, she told herself that she had to get out. It was a matter of life and death.
For weeks after the accident, whenever I’d see her, it would come up. I grew to dread the topic. When I saw here after returning from a two-and-a-half week camping and kayaking trip, the fact that I’d kayaked on one of the Great Lakes by myself horrified her. The whole topic of kayaking was becoming toxic.
One evening, when she asked me what I’d done that day and I told her I’d kayaked, she asked me to lie next time. She didn’t even want to know I’d gone kayaking. . When I was growing up, my mom told me that I had no common sense. She was sure that someday I was going to kill someone. This is about the closest I’ve ever come.
The silver lining to this story is that having survived a potential drowning had caused my friend to see life differently. Knowing that she could survive had changed her life for the better. I was glad, but I still dread that topic.
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