The day that changed it all.  − 24 September, 2007

Was this Laborday? Not sure, but close enough.

I talked to Quynh's dad today about marrying her.

I've been proposing since the week after we met. Nearly every day to be sure. This is actual, not an exaduration. So this is really it.

We were at the cabin in PA. On the deck, leaning against the railing. He was smoking a cigarette. I just said it.

" I want to ask your permission to marry your daughter."

He exhails some smoke, and begins.

"I have to ask you some things then. Where is God in your life?"

"First. He's brought me here, and given me this chance." I risked. I thought that was the right thing to say, but I wasn't going to compromise even if I knew that it was the complete wrong thing. God is first. Always.

"Good. He has to be, he's the strenth you need."

Then he continued.

" How will you work out your differences? How will you get around the tough stuff?"

"I know a little about that from my program. I can most often do the best thing by not saying anything at all. Thinking first, then speaking. Someone told me that at times the most spiritual thing that i can do is to keep my mouth shut." Thanks Homer. That one worked out well!!!

"Well, that's good, but there are times where one or both of you are going to get retarded, it's jsut the way that things are. Youhave to relyon God there. I mean you will get really retarded, and you have to make it through those things." At the time I thought that he was just talking about resolving conflict, but I realize now looking back at it he was talking about the times where there is no place to turn, no place to find that strenth to keep quiet, or say just the right thing other than with God. He was being a sage.

" Do you love her?"

"Absolutely." There is no other answer that could fit there, and no word that actually described how I feel honestly. It's bigger than anything that can be communicated. So I settled for an absolute.

"Then you have my blessing."

I walked back to the bedroom, and proposed. She said yes, and it was unimaginable. She had said yes before, but this was for real. This was it. I slipped the ring on her finger, and later we made love on the couch. Little did we know that that was the day Amelia was concieved.

Life meets you where you are, picks you up, and either it dashes you about, or coddles you into security. I tend to leave the judgement of that to God. He seems to have everything else in hand, so I know it's all wonderful.