Corduroy − 10 March, 2008

I was in Barnes and Noble. That store is heaven and hell for me. Heaven because there is nothing quite like finding a new good book, and hell because there are so many other things that I have to (should) spend my money on.

I was waiting for Quynh to come out of the bathroom. She's pretty quick, so it's not bad at all. I've actually gotten lucky on so many things like that. She's not a girlie girl on so many levels. Heh, that's a story for another time.

So I am wandering the kids section and come across this story about Corduroy the bear. I Love Courderoy. I wear corduroy every day. It's like pajamas to me. Soft, warm, happy... Hmmm yea, it's comfortable. The real comfortable like going home to your favorite meal made by Mum, or that pair of Jeans that you have that fit just right, or hot chocolate, fire place, good book, or movie, your favorite person on a big roomy soft couch and a snow storm outside. That's Corduroy to me. Yea, almost. So anyway, I find this book, and there is this instant connection to Amelia there. I picked out these little Corduroy overalls for her to wear so that she can be "Papa's baby Girl" and it's something else! So I start reading and my eyes start to well up, I get this happy warm feeling, and she's there, right there in my heart, snuggling up, making herself at home, fluffing the pillows, and getting all set to stay. I have moments like this all the time now, but this one was a big one. This was "The Moment" I think. The one that I'll tell her about every year on her birthday right after her Mum tells her the "Birth Story" again, or chooses not to. No matter, it's the one that I completely identify as being the moment that I knew that this child was really really really going to have me. I knew that I would Love her, I knew that I would do anything for her, but that was a moment where I knew that she would be such a part of me that there would not really be a divide so much as just a greying of lines. I think that the challenge will not be how to take care of her, nor will it be what to do with a girl, but how to let her be, to let her make her own way without me there every moment of my life with everything that I need to have to protect and shelter her, basically how not to smother her with too much attention. Heh. Yea, me, the tough guy that dreams of catching a Northern Pike on a fly rod, the Marine that attacked any mudpuddle that looked at me the wrong way, or looked at me at all. Heh, Yea, this should be good. I have a feeling that at times it's not going to be "Daddy's little girl", rather it's going to be Papa's wrapped around her little finger.

Posted on March 12, 2008. and has been viewed 238 times.