My Weight − 14 April, 2008
I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted. My friends used to tease me they couldn’t figure out where the food went to – did I have a hollow leg? – I really packed it away when I ate. I was not shy, nor was I a delicate eater like some of my other girlfriends, who would order and pick at a measly salad while I was digging in to veal francaise with extra sauce.
When I needed to lose weight for joint replacement surgery, just not eating a lot made the pounds fall off me. I could splurge and the calories didn’t count. I guess I had a rapid metabolism.
Now I am in my mid-30s and I am in big trouble – it seems I no longer enjoy the rapid metabolism of my youth. Now whatever I am eating is being packed away as extra weight! In the last month or so, I have gained 5+ pounds – doesn’t sound like a lot, but when you are only about 85 pounds (or you SHOULD be about 85 pounds!), 5 or more pounds is a lot. My orthopedic surgeon has also stressed to me that being lighter is easier on the prosthetic joints, and it definitely helps with the arthritis – the lighter I am, the less it hurts.
My clothes are not fitting, either – I used to be about a girls’ size 12 – now I am a girls’ size 14. And I can’t stop eating! I am so used to not worrying about it, that I find myself snacking throughout the day. And when I tell myself “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” I find myself craving that very thing and saying I “shouldn’t deny myself.” And I can justify anything – ice cream is good because it’s “dairy.” Carbs are necessary, right? And I LOVE my carbs. Probably 75% of what I eat is carbs… I also find myself getting grumpy when I am hungry and my blood sugar is low.
So, I need to get some self-control. I just read one of my earlier sentences… the one with “I can’t” in it – a phrase I swore was not in my vocabulary years ago… I have always said if I want something badly enough I can get it (well, within reason – wishing for Clive Owen hasn’t worked out so far). OK, so I need to surround myself with inspiration – maybe a couple of pictures of women with hot bodies (unless that will depress me more? And cause me to eat more do to depression?) or a self-affirmation “I CAN be thin again, I CAN be thin again” or some such. What do you think? Does that sound good? Or should I join Jenny again? Or Weight Watchers? I used to be a Silver Jenny member…. Maybe I can go back. The food wasn’t bad, though I should think I am capable enough on my own to figure these things out… after all, I did whittle myself down to a girls’ size 8 Slim once!
So, today’s the day – no more procrastinating. I have decided I am going to THINK before I eat – would a thin person eat this? And we’ll see where this goes. I will let you all know how successful I am – and any ideas are greatly appreciated. Just like any dieter, those “last few” pounds are difficult.
Comments:
PandoraBox (April 14, 2008. 08:00pm)
Hi Sara. At 20, I could eat 5 chocolate bars, half a pack of Oreos and a complete meal and I weighed 120 for 5'6". Now, at 33, I weigh 138 pounds and it keeps piling on...My motivation right now for not feeling depressed with my weight is exercise (I go to the gym 4 times a week). I also eat lesser portions but I eat snacks between meals (I have headaches if I don't eat). Portions seem to be key. For example it's better to eat a yogourt parfait (plain yogourt plus fruits plus granola) than 3 cookies. A Big Mac has the calories you need and the sodium you need for a whole day. I keep informed so I make better choices. Oh believe me I do eat chocolate but I have stopped eating chips, I make my own cookies so I know what's in them, I try low fat food and if it's tasty enough I keep buying them. The thing that keeps me angry-hungry is guilt and denial of what I crave. What I'm trying to say is if you really want a piece of cake, take a tiny piece. Saying no to yourself will get you eating half the cake at night. And if exercise is not an option (bicycle, step) I am sure there are options. Pilates helps you build a strong core and builds muscle without jumping everywhere, for example. Hope that helps ! :) I know it's discouraging and frustrating (I have been gaining more than 5 pounds a month since last spring). But it's doable !
peahayes (April 15, 2008. 02:37am)
She is exactly right. I couldn't have said it better myself. If it would help, maybe could see a dietitian. Since this will be a life-long thing, you need to develop habits you can live with. I personally would stay away from diet clubs and figure out a way to make healthy eating a habit. Maybe there are ways you can get the substances you crave (salt, sugar) via healthier means. Definitely pay attention to the blood sugar thing. Grouchiness is no fun!