Damn Spring and the Biological Clock − 17 April, 2008
I almost cried. In fact, I choked. My throat hurt because I wouldn't cry.
My friend wrote, she's waiting for her baby. The baby was due last weekend. Then on Facebook I saw the picture of a girl I know vaguely, I learned she's engaged to a guy I used to like and...she's pregnant. Another friend of mine is pregnant and my sister just had a baby.
In my head it seems EVERYONE is married, engaged or is in a couple and...is about to have a baby or just had one.
I see men with their kids, women and their kids, kindergartens on the sidewalk...
And since I have a mega PMS right now, it's all I can do not shout how unfair it all is, how boring and lonely my life is, how I almost regret to have dumped all those losers.
I'm just so sad.
online now
Comments:
peahayes (April 17, 2008. 09:59pm)
I'm am sorry you are so sad. It makes me sad for you. All I can say is that think of how sad you might be if you were locked in a marriage to a loser you didn't really love. It'd be a different kind of sad. Think, too, of the baby daddy -- the father you will choose for your children. You'll choose well because you are so careful. Keep your chin up, but indulge your urge to cry. It may help lift the sadness.
PandoraBox (April 18, 2008. 03:55pm)
Thank you. What makes me eve sad is all the poeple I know having babies and buying houses when they are not in a great relationship. I have female friends who stay with the guy even if they don't love him anymore by fear of throwing all those years down the drain. And male friends who "learn to love" the girl even though the girl in question has nothing in common with them, are not attractive to them and they argue all the time. I have lots to offer even if I have baggage, I'm cute and have lots of talents, good qualities...but it never seems to be safe enough to me or good enough to work.
petulantfem (May 24, 2008. 03:41pm)
Awww pandora - the grass is always greener, I think. I spent almost 9 years with someone that I didn't love for the last 7 years, just because I thought that I had already invested so much time with him, and because I had two children and didn't think anyone else would want to deal with that ... I was so unhappy, although I had a man (but not married) and my babies. I envied everyone I knew who was still childless and was just focusing on themselves - sleeping in on weekends and getting their PhDs and taking exotic vacationsand having big weddings ,,, Jealousy sucks.