The Bunny, The Goldberg Variations, the Panties and the Lavender Drops  − 18 April, 2008

I went to the gym and felt better. I already felt better after having written about all those fracked up feelings.

But when I went to sleep, I couldn't. I tossed and turned, eyes wide open...I wasn't tired anymore. But I knew I needed the sleep or else I would crack again today.

So I resorted to bring on the big guns, everything I have used in the past to reassure me and make me sleep. Well, almost everything. I didn't even think of masturbation. How lame is that ? Well, I had used it earlier in the week and it hadn't helped that much.

First, I took my laptop in my bed and wrote a bit to tire my eyes. I felt like I had luggage under my eyes and I had written a bit about what fracked me up. Then, I got up for the millionth time and went to put on panties. I have trouble sleeping in the nude or without underwear. Then, I put a few drops of lavender oil on my wrists and temples. After lying down, I got up again and plugged my laptop into the wall and plugged the speakers in the laptop and selected the Goldberg Variations. I got up again because it was too loud. I took Mr Bunny with me to snuggle (my cat was too hot), pushed the covers farther away, put the pillow between my legs and proceeded to cuddle Mr Bunny and another pillow.

Aaaaaah. Finally I slept. I woke up a bit later, just before dawn, with spit on my arm. A sure way to know I have slept.