Putting boundaries  − 17 December, 2007

I have reasons for putting boundaries.
• I like my intimacy. I feel lonely sometimes but I prefer it to be with someone I am not comfortable with. Or it just plain is comfortable to me being alone in my apartment, free to dress how I like, wear my hair the way I like, calling who I like...
• I don’t think about him in terms of “boyfriend”. I am “seeing” him without “being” with him.
• Once a week is enough. I don’t want to see more of him because I wouldn’t miss him anymore, I wouldn’t want the weekend to come faster, like to sleep with him anymore either. Everything would be boring quickly.
• I don’t want to hug or kiss or hold hands at work and I don’t really like public displays of attention in general.
• I don't feel like a couple. We are not a couple. He thinks about a future together but doesn't seem to understand that I want a future with someone I will have kids with. But he also thinks about the day I will leave him...
• I can be obsessed by sex because it is important to me. Having sex is a physical investment. I don’t want to invest that much right now. The other party seems to be willing to and is gently pressing me by tempting me. I am obsessed because I am worried. I don't want to start "this" : having sex almost every time we see each other, automatically assume the other wants to, making efforts to shave, kiss, carress, having to wear matching underwear...having to say no and be angry I have to say it. I don't want to have sex, I have had enough of it in aaaaalll its glory.
• I really like him but all my previous objections are still there and will not go away just because I'm flushed with physical excitement when I kiss him.