Cube Farms – Worst Workspace Ever Invented − 8 May, 2008

I would like to personally draw and quarter the person who invented cube farms. I would like to do something a bit less drastic to the people who decide for other workers that they belong in cube farms. These people almost ALWAYS have offices with doors they can close when they need to concentrate.

What is a cube farm worker to do? Who knows! What is she supposed to do when she’s under deadline pressure, and all around her she can hear the conversations of all of her co-workers? What is she supposed to do when she can hear conversations even WHILE she is wearing earplugs, wearing ear-enclosing headphones, and playing nature sounds? How is she supposed to get her work done without coming away feeling positively postal? Should she simply attend an anger management class? Is it her problem, not yours?

Are you reading this, upper management? Do you need your workers to be productive? Do you want them to have high morale? Huh? Oh, really? Then don’t put them in cube farms!

D’uh!

ARE YOU LISTENING, UPPER MANAGEMENT? GET A F***ING CLUE!

Tags: Work, cube farms, deadlines, Software Development, upper management, going postal

Posted on May 8, 2008. and has been viewed 39 times.

Comments:

bmccosar (May 8, 2008. 08:40pm)

Person? It was the Borg Collective. Just wait until they redecorate the place with all those hoses (because that's the first thing Borg do when they move in, put up hoses all over the place).

peahayes (May 8, 2008. 10:07pm)

Ugh, that makes it even harder to retaliate! As if I could do anything other than have a hissy fit on my laptop anyhow... BUT the good news is that there is more deadline pressure tomorrow, BUT my boss came through for me and gave me a free flex day tomorrow so I don't f*** this deadline up!

peahayes (May 8, 2008. 10:09pm)

Eddie? Are you reading this? I've always cussed this much when I got mad, but only off line. Now, thanks to your exuberant example, I feel free to cuss wantonly on the internet. Sorry for anyone out there who has tender ears. I mean no offense.

intrepideddie (May 9, 2008. 02:39am)

w, that's not cussing -- all those *** hide the fun. And Bruce, I was wondering what all the hoses were for that have been appearing around our cubicles... Hey, as long as I get one of those cool techno-looking monocles, then borg me up.

peahayes (May 9, 2008. 03:02am)

It's like the tree in the woods somehow... If I say f***, and you think "fuck", then it's like I said it. Now, on the other hand, if you thought "flea" or "fowl" or some other variation of f***, then did I *not* cuss?

intrepideddie (May 9, 2008. 05:12am)

Nah, it's more like that great definition of "political correctness." What you're trying to do is pick up a turd by the clean end. Looks like a turd, smells like a turd... It's a turd. We all know it's a turd. Tossing a piece of toilet paper over it doesn't change the fact that it's a turd. Acknowledge the turd. Embrace the turd (well, maybe just stand next to it). Show the world that you're not afraid to point at the turd and say, "Yes, my friends, that is a turd!" (In case you haven't guessed, the word "turd" is really cracking me up right now.)

peahayes (May 9, 2008. 01:03pm)

Point taken! I think what it amounts to is that if I'm cussing on this site it's cuz I'm really angry. It feels wrong to unleash every iota of my fury on innocent bystanders! So I cover it with a hanky, and stick it out there hoping no one will notice what a stinky old turd it is.