The World of Whites − 15 May, 2008
At the gym tonight, I (a white woman) was watching "Super Nanny" on the TV above my exercise bike. A black woman sat down on the bike next to mine. She watched, too. For once the family being coached was a black family. I had never seen that before. But then came the commercials. Everyone in them was white and beautiful. I began to feel that really awful feeling I get when I am near a black person and I realize how incredibly white television is.
I rarely watch TV - only at the gym, and favorite programs on DVD. I grimaced at the TV above my head. I couldn't imagine how it would feel for such a powerful force to be so white if one were black. I suppose people grow accustomed to it, but I’d think it would be frustrating. TV is only the tip of the iceberg, but it's a good example.
Tonight, I felt sick with disgust, and I felt ashamed to face this woman. White man’s guilt? Maybe.
This little encounter reminded me once again of how, too often, I take for granted the white world in which I live. In my town, I find myself wondering where all the black people are. Folks like to say that this town is diverse, but it's diverse because of its international population, not because of a representative population of black people. Many of the black people in my town live in housing projects. Although I think about race reasonably often at an intellectual level, nothing drives the message home like watching TV next to a black stranger.
Here's another nugget on racial matters.
Comments:
Oblivious (May 15, 2008. 05:12am)
It really is jarring when you think about it. I find myself uncomfortable in certain situations dealing with black people, but I attribute that to having lived in a small, and ethnically "comfortable", town most of my life, and also to the fact that I belong to the race that has been on the giving end of a long chain of racial injustice. I feel like every black person I see holds a personal grudge against me simply because I'm white. Silly, I know, but the feeling is still there nonetheless.
peahayes (May 15, 2008. 01:59pm)
Not necessarily so silly. There was a period of time many years ago when I had the same impression. I think a lot of it had to do with which socio-economic bracket the other person was in. I haven't felt it so much lately because all the black people I see are either school kids, who don't pay much attention to adults, or people in a similar socio-economic bracket as myself. I have a story I should write which would further illuminate this issue.