Anosmia  − 22 May, 2008

I have anosmia. Funny word for the diagnosis of not having a sense of smell, but there it is. It’s ironic, too, as my nose is not a delicate little thing either. You would think, given it’s size, it would be a super-power. But, no.

I didn’t know I was lacking a sense of smell until some time in grammar school. I was maybe 10 years old. It’s not like they test it in school, like vision or hearing, so I didn’t know that you used your nose for something other than breathing.

People ask me all the time if I can taste, when they learn I can’t smell. Yes, I can taste. There is nothing wrong with my tongue (literally. Though people who have been at the receiving end of it’s sharpness may argue that). I am sure my ability to taste is not as “flavorful” as someone who has a sense of smell – I can taste “stronger” things like salty, sweet, sour, savory and even metallic-y. I tend to like food with stronger flavors (though not spicy, as I am a wuss), like beef, chocolate, coffee. I can’t necessarily tell the difference in fruit flavors – I can taste the difference in tangy-ness and texture, but the flavor between a peach and an apple is negligible to me. Candies are the same – I can only tell different flavors by the citric acid content. Jolly Ranchers all taste about the same to me.

There are some definite benefits to having no sense of smell. I had pet ferrets for years, and had no issues with their natural musk. I could drive through the Lincoln Tunnel and not switch to “inside air only.” I could do the intestinal cases in the operating room where I worked with no problems either.

Of course, on the flip side, I am paranoid about smelling. I shower once or twice a day. I am assiduous about deodorant and body spray. I have breath-freshening gum on me at all times, and my dogs get bathed twice a month, minimum.

My critters always have clean cages and litter boxes and I am constantly vacuuming, mopping, sweeping and Febreezing. I have air fresheners in nearly every outlet and a bevy of scented candles scattered throughout my home. My husband thinks it’s a little overkill, but I don’t want anyone coming in to my home and knowing I have pets because of the smell. I like a clean home – where the pet hair is only on the pets. I am a very tactile person, too, so I like snuggling up in a stadium blanket to watch TV, so I want to make sure said stadium blanket is clean. I don’t like snuggling with stinky. Or possibly stinky.

When I lived in New Jersey I had a beautiful rose garden – here in Florida, my roses are straggly and hardly ever produce a bloom. In Jersey I had gorgeous roses and used to even make my own pot pourri with the petals. I surrounded myself with fresh flowers and had the windows open to let the fresh ocean breezes air out my condo. Here it’s way too hot to do that. I have some really beautiful tropical plants, but very few have the air-freshening qualities my roses did. Sigh.

So I just enjoy the taste of fresh-baked cookies. I revel in the knowledge that I Febreezed my couch and my floor is fresh-mopped. I love my scented shampoo. I may not be able to smell it, but I know someone is appreciating it as I walk by. I mist myself with my honeysuckle body spray, and though I can’t smell it, no one will smell me, either…