For a year I lived with this girl. The following are things I picked up along the way.
1) There's no hanging up mid-fight when you sleep in the same bed.
2) For every one pound of clothes you have, she has ten.
3) Concerning said clothes, a woman's laundry is not something to be taken lightly, and is often frightening and disgusting.
4) Your side is her side, and her side is her side. Actually, you don't have a side.
5) No matter how many times you say you don't care what the room looks like, you will be the one to rearrange it.
6) Women eat more than most thoroughbred horses.
7) Watching a woman undress is less sexy if you know she's only doing it to put on an androgynes blob of a tee shirt and a pair of stretch pants.
8) At this point, she no longer needs to have sex with you to manipulate you. So she doesn't.
9) Upon waking, a woman has not yet had a chance to climb into her human skin and remember what it means to be sociable. Any attempt to reason with this beast ends in death.
10) Those five days out of every month suddenly become your problem. Minesweepers required.
Comments:
metalpower (June 15, 2008. 03:43pm)
And so much more.
peahayes (June 15, 2008. 05:52pm)
fortunately, not all women are alike.
intrepideddie (June 15, 2008. 08:17pm)
#9 -- death... if you're lucky. #10 -- Minesweepers, flak jackets, helmets, reinforced concrete bunker...
Oblivious (June 15, 2008. 08:19pm)
And prayer, don't forget about that one.
edunn (June 16, 2008. 02:05am)
I would like to add an adendum to #9 He-hem...tame said beast with one cup of coffee and she will be yours forever! In reality it is very simple :)
Oblivious (June 16, 2008. 02:46am)
Where were you three years ago, Emily? ;)
edunn (June 16, 2008. 08:11pm)
:)