Saved by William Shatner − 30 June, 2008
When I was little, I wanted to be a starship captain when I grew up.
Think about it: it was 1974. We'd just landed on the Moon five years before. If you'd asked me what the world would be like in the year 2008, I'd have talked about space stations, cities on the moon, and the manned missions to Mars.
The future isn't what it used to be.
My hero was Captain James T. Kirk. The one thing I couldn't understand was why he didn't marry Uhura. On the other hand, whatever he was doing, he usually won -- or went to absurd lengths to win. He'd have fit right in with my family.
And now? He's the Priceline Negotiator.
Don't laugh. He actually plays a part in this story, even if it's only as an animated character.
The Return to Gainesville
We'd just moved to Virginia. Our new home was a cross between a warehouse and a hurricane -- boxes all over, furniture in various stages of assembly, clutter everywhere. I put in a solid weekend of trying to get it in order.
But we still had a house in Florida. The sale was pending, and the closing date was on July 2, 2008. Although we'd made it to Virginia with most of our stuff, we'd only been able to drive two vehicles -- our Saturn Vue and our rented U-haul (HMS Providence).
My wife's car, a Saturn SL1, was still in Gainesville.
So were all of our houseplants. Now, I have to mention them in particular, because there are a few plants we have that go back to the year Hannah and I met. We'd carried them from apartment to house to house.
There were a few other things, as well, mostly minor -- just stuff that hadn't made it into the moving van for one reason or another. In theory, it would all fit into my wife's car ;-)
The problem was: getting back to Gainesville.
Originally, I planned to drive, because I hate flying. Scratch that: I hate airports. The flight itself is generally pleasant, assuming you've survived all that Hell on the ground to get to your plane.
So I planned to drive.
However, a few weeks before the trip, when I looked at the price for taking a one-way rental car from Virginia to Florida, it was ridiculously prohibitive -- around $500 to $600. Most of the flights I had looked up on my own were expensive as well.
And then I remembered William Shatner.
I figured I'd give priceline a try. After all, it was looking like I was about to take a hit of $500 or so -- maybe 10 or 20% off would be possible.
I logged in, put in my trip information, and . . . well, while I was waiting, a computer animated William Shatner kung fu'd as he negotiated the price (is that a real verb, kung fu'd?).
And then . . .
$180 !?!
I was absolutely certain it was some sort of trick. Surely I'd entered something wrong. I logged in on a different computer and tried again.
Nope, it was real. I'd be flying from Dulles International Airport (very close to my house) to Gainesville, FL in two hops. For $180.
So, yeah, I have to say . . . saved by Shatner.
The Actual Trip
On Monday, June 30, I went through the usual airport nonsense. My first flight was late, and I only made my connecting flight in Atlanta by about two minutes.
However, I arrived in Gainesville at exactly the scheduled time. Sandra, a family friend, picked me up and drove me back to my almost-empty house.
I'd have a lot of work to do over the next few days.
Comments:
intrepideddie (July 16, 2008. 12:32pm)
From Captain Kirk to pimping discount travel... how the mighty have fallen. At least they chose a good talent of Shatner's with the comedic kung-fu... PriceLine would be out of business had they asked him to sing: http://dandelife.com/story/27397
bmccosar (July 16, 2008. 09:16pm)
There was a musician I knew in Gainesville who collected vinyl records -- one day, he produced the True Horror: "The Transformed Man" by William Shatner. I can't even begin to describe it. The mind recoils.