Hell's Photo Booth Is in Texas − July, 1995
I had been languishing for a month since graduation, and I was fucking bored. I guess all those extra-curricular military activities the Air Force Academy kept us busy with had an effect on me. Assholes. So, as I was saying, I'm half-way through my two-month vacation before I have to report for training in Mississippi. I probably should have planned out something cool and exciting to do with my time off, but I was so focused on just getting away from the Air Force Academy that I didn't even think about what I'd do for two months.
Fortunately, my girlfriend came to the rescue. Sort of. Her two weeks of vacation just started in July, so we got together and came up with something to do: we'd go on a road trip to Lawton, Oklahoma, to visit my sister and her husband. It's a long drive, so no one ever goes down to visit them. Yeah, I'd forgotten how long and boring that drive was. At least this time I had my girlfriend to keep me company. Plus, we stopped along the way so I could point out places in Kansas where I used to live.
It was about midday when we arrived in Lawton. My brother-in-law was still working, so my sister, my girlfriend, and I went out to kill some time. It was god-awful hot and humid, so we quickly agreed on seeing a movie in a cool, air-conditioned theater. My sister and girlfriend aren't big sci-fi or horror fans, so how we ended up seeing "Species" is beyond me. And I have to say, sitting there between my sister and my girlfriend, the nudity and sexual nature of the movie was a bit weird. Afterward, we all enthusiastically tore the movie apart as we got a bite to eat. The girls judged it to be crap on all counts. I thought the idea was good, but it seemed as if it got turned into a soft-core porn flick -- sort of an "Aliens" meets "Horny Hotties." I know, I know... it sounds good on paper...
That night we all decided on going down to Dallas for a couple of days to go to Six Flags over Texas. I loves me some roller coasters. We went to bed at a reasonable hour to get an early start, but sleep didn't come easy; it was just too fucking hot! They didn't have air-conditioning in their apartment. Instead, they set up a series of fans to direct air from the windows around the apartment. It was a good idea, but the fans were just moving around hot air.
We talked quite a bit on the drive to Dallas: about what, I don't remember. I do recall listening to various radio stations and commenting on the songs. One song we heard was "Kissed by a Rose" by Seal. My girlfriend and I had never heard it before and we absolutely loved it. My brother-in-law liked it, too. My sister hated it. She's not a big Seal fan, and especially does not like this song -- she thinks he sounds off-key and just plain crappy. Unfortunately for her, it was a popular song and the radio stations were playing the hell out of it.
In Dallas, we checked into our hotel (which mercifully had air-conditioning) and headed to Six Flags. We avoided the outrageous parking fees by parking at the hotel across the street, and I believe the walk to the gate was actually shorter than if we had parked in the Six Flags parking lot. My brother-in-law is a genius.
It was great riding all the big rides. The wicked heat kept the crowd level fairly low, so the lines weren't that bad. My brother-in-law, however, is not a fan of roller coasters or any kind of adrenaline-inducing ride. We managed to goad him onto every ride with us, though. I'll give him credit for facing his fears, but seeing his face on those rides was priceless. I think he truly believed he was going to die. Every single time we went on a ride. Damn, and me without a camera.
The heat... my god, the heat! It was awful. We drank water by the gallon, and not once did any of us have to pee -- it all went out via sweat. The little shops there were air-conditioned, so we loitered around in them between rides to cool off. Everyone else was, too, so they started kicking people out if it didn't look like they were actually shopping. Damn it. We sat outside of one such shop to take a break when one of us noticed that we were sitting next to a photo booth. I don't remember who's genius fucking idea it was, but the next thing I know, we're all cramming into the booth to get our photo taken. It was like a sauna. No, it was worse than a sauna... my brother-in-law and I were on the bottom so we had no way to escape until the pictures were done. Yeah, that wasn't a real well-thought-out idea.
The log ride sounded like a good way to cool off, so we headed over to the line. We were a bit leery of the water; it was an unnatural shade of blue and smelled absolutely vile. Turned out to be a dull ride, and the splashes were so small that we only got the tiniest bit of water on us. Exiting the ride, a bridge goes over the last part of the ride with the biggest splash. Anyone standing on the bridge when a "log" came down was drenched by the full force of the splash. Hmmm... there's an idea: get soaked with water and that will keep us cool for a while. We all stood there and got soaked. It took only seconds to realize it was a stupid thing to do. We just soaked ourselves with that nasty fucking water. To top it off, it was so hot and humid, being wet just made the air more humid around us and really didn't cool us off at all. Fuck.
We called it a day eventually and headed back to the hotel and cleaned up before dinner. We all hung our socks on hangers so they could dry overnight. The next morning, we packed our stuff and retrieved our socks, only to find they had hardened. I don't mean like they had been starched; I mean like they had been repeatedly dipped in lacquer. What the fuck was in that water?!
Before heading back to Lawton, we spent most of the day at Six Flags again. And, much to my brother-in-law's dismay, most of that time was on the big "scary" rides. Not the log ride, though; we stayed well away from that toxic cesspool.
My girlfriend and I spent another night in Lawton before making the drive back to Colorado. I found out later that, after we left, my sister turned to her husband and said, "That's the girl he's going to marry."
Uncanny.
Fortunately, my girlfriend came to the rescue. Sort of. Her two weeks of vacation just started in July, so we got together and came up with something to do: we'd go on a road trip to Lawton, Oklahoma, to visit my sister and her husband. It's a long drive, so no one ever goes down to visit them. Yeah, I'd forgotten how long and boring that drive was. At least this time I had my girlfriend to keep me company. Plus, we stopped along the way so I could point out places in Kansas where I used to live.
It was about midday when we arrived in Lawton. My brother-in-law was still working, so my sister, my girlfriend, and I went out to kill some time. It was god-awful hot and humid, so we quickly agreed on seeing a movie in a cool, air-conditioned theater. My sister and girlfriend aren't big sci-fi or horror fans, so how we ended up seeing "Species" is beyond me. And I have to say, sitting there between my sister and my girlfriend, the nudity and sexual nature of the movie was a bit weird. Afterward, we all enthusiastically tore the movie apart as we got a bite to eat. The girls judged it to be crap on all counts. I thought the idea was good, but it seemed as if it got turned into a soft-core porn flick -- sort of an "Aliens" meets "Horny Hotties." I know, I know... it sounds good on paper...
That night we all decided on going down to Dallas for a couple of days to go to Six Flags over Texas. I loves me some roller coasters. We went to bed at a reasonable hour to get an early start, but sleep didn't come easy; it was just too fucking hot! They didn't have air-conditioning in their apartment. Instead, they set up a series of fans to direct air from the windows around the apartment. It was a good idea, but the fans were just moving around hot air.
We talked quite a bit on the drive to Dallas: about what, I don't remember. I do recall listening to various radio stations and commenting on the songs. One song we heard was "Kissed by a Rose" by Seal. My girlfriend and I had never heard it before and we absolutely loved it. My brother-in-law liked it, too. My sister hated it. She's not a big Seal fan, and especially does not like this song -- she thinks he sounds off-key and just plain crappy. Unfortunately for her, it was a popular song and the radio stations were playing the hell out of it.
In Dallas, we checked into our hotel (which mercifully had air-conditioning) and headed to Six Flags. We avoided the outrageous parking fees by parking at the hotel across the street, and I believe the walk to the gate was actually shorter than if we had parked in the Six Flags parking lot. My brother-in-law is a genius.
It was great riding all the big rides. The wicked heat kept the crowd level fairly low, so the lines weren't that bad. My brother-in-law, however, is not a fan of roller coasters or any kind of adrenaline-inducing ride. We managed to goad him onto every ride with us, though. I'll give him credit for facing his fears, but seeing his face on those rides was priceless. I think he truly believed he was going to die. Every single time we went on a ride. Damn, and me without a camera.
The heat... my god, the heat! It was awful. We drank water by the gallon, and not once did any of us have to pee -- it all went out via sweat. The little shops there were air-conditioned, so we loitered around in them between rides to cool off. Everyone else was, too, so they started kicking people out if it didn't look like they were actually shopping. Damn it. We sat outside of one such shop to take a break when one of us noticed that we were sitting next to a photo booth. I don't remember who's genius fucking idea it was, but the next thing I know, we're all cramming into the booth to get our photo taken. It was like a sauna. No, it was worse than a sauna... my brother-in-law and I were on the bottom so we had no way to escape until the pictures were done. Yeah, that wasn't a real well-thought-out idea.
The log ride sounded like a good way to cool off, so we headed over to the line. We were a bit leery of the water; it was an unnatural shade of blue and smelled absolutely vile. Turned out to be a dull ride, and the splashes were so small that we only got the tiniest bit of water on us. Exiting the ride, a bridge goes over the last part of the ride with the biggest splash. Anyone standing on the bridge when a "log" came down was drenched by the full force of the splash. Hmmm... there's an idea: get soaked with water and that will keep us cool for a while. We all stood there and got soaked. It took only seconds to realize it was a stupid thing to do. We just soaked ourselves with that nasty fucking water. To top it off, it was so hot and humid, being wet just made the air more humid around us and really didn't cool us off at all. Fuck.
We called it a day eventually and headed back to the hotel and cleaned up before dinner. We all hung our socks on hangers so they could dry overnight. The next morning, we packed our stuff and retrieved our socks, only to find they had hardened. I don't mean like they had been starched; I mean like they had been repeatedly dipped in lacquer. What the fuck was in that water?!
Before heading back to Lawton, we spent most of the day at Six Flags again. And, much to my brother-in-law's dismay, most of that time was on the big "scary" rides. Not the log ride, though; we stayed well away from that toxic cesspool.
My girlfriend and I spent another night in Lawton before making the drive back to Colorado. I found out later that, after we left, my sister turned to her husband and said, "That's the girl he's going to marry."
Uncanny.
hells photo booth
outside six flags with...
outside six flags with...
sisters apartment in...
Comments:
bmccosar (July 18, 2008. 11:51am)
I can't help but notice the color of the water at Six Flags matches the color of Ty-D-Bowl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPPBnciNAqI
intrepideddie (July 21, 2008. 01:02pm)
Holy crap... that is exactly it. We got splashed by the Ty-D-Bowl man!