Mom’s worries − 23 July, 2008
While my parents were visiting over the weekend, both of my parents wondered whether I should consider surgery. My mom especially pressed me on the issue. Years ago, I would’ve felt threatened and like she was meddling. Now I saw the worry on her face, and I understood that she wants what’s best for me. When she heard that I couldn’t even kayak, she lamented, “That’s just terrible!”
I was touched. As much as I wish were kayaking, not being able to kayak is the least of my worries these days. She also thought it would be a terrible shame if I had to give up bicycling. She believes that surgery will solve all these problems. If I get the surgery, then I can bike and kayak and do all the things that I love doing. In her experience, people who have gotten surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome have done well. I see the frustration on her face as we argue.
I fear the complications. I’ve heard it’s a last resort. I’ve heard that it works for some people and for others, it has only helped a little bit. I even had an IT manager warn me not to get surgery. She said that once you get surgery you never recover your original abilities. It wasn’t clear to me whether she had seen this happen with carpal tunnel syndrome surgery, or just surgery in general. In any case, I have always been leery of surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome. I will get it if and when I run out of options.
But for mom, all she can see is her daughter suffering needlessly, being unable to do the things that she loves to do. Several years ago I would not have seen it this way. This year I held my own in an argument. After my parents left, I felt grateful that someone cared enough to argue that hard with me. Admittedly she is tenacious. But it comes from the right place, and I am deeply grateful.
