Just a Closer Walk With Thee − 19 December, 1990
My grandfather was the type of man that people loved. He influenced me in ways that I'm just starting to understand. I can say I've treated some people poorly in my life, At times, I've even looked the other way when a friend needed help. My grandfather wasn't that type of person, he's someone I can only hope to emulate. He's the one that got me interested in giving the trumpet a try. I played it until I joined the Army in 1991.
A few years before my grandfather passed away, I promised him I would play "Just a Closer Walk With Thee" by the Dixieland Gents featuring Louis Armstrong at his funeral. I half jokingly said it because I thought he would live forever. You may know the song, it's actually a funeral march and it's where I got the idea. Download it and give it a listen. The version with Satchmo is actually very rare.
I was a senior in high school when he died. The only people that knew of my promise was my mom and dad, and my grandmother, but it got around to some more people the week before. My mom said I should do whatever I felt I had to do and my grandfather would understand. My Aunt Sandy and the preacher said I shouldn't do it because it would upset my grandmother. Now, I've played Taps at approximately 100 funerals. It pales in comparison to playing your grandfather's favorite song when you see his casket getting lowered.
I had my trumpet with me in the limo and my Aunt Sandy was trying to convince me not to do it. I almost didn't want to, because I knew I wouldn't make it through without breaking down. I carried my horn with me behind my back so no one would see. I looked at the Preacher and he smiled, thinking I left it in the limo. Towards the end of the funeral I backed away from my mom and dad and my mom looked at me with tears in her eyes because she knew I was going for it. I walked softly up the slight hill and stood still. I was shaking and I swear I heard my grandfather tell me to blow it loud so everyone could hear. I saw people start to walk away from the canopy and some threw roses on the coffin. I put my lips to that mouthpiece and played that song as loud as I could.
My Uncle John who, it turns out, isn't a very warm person at all but was lucky enough to be J. Walter Ludwig Jr., started walking towards me. He knew the song because he waited till the end of the first chorus to wrap his arms around me and hug me. I seriously thought he was trying to hug me to quell the music, but he was crying. He told me at the dinner that he used to listen to that song with my grandpa when he was a kid. And he knew how important it was to him. He also wondered how I knew.
The preacher was mad because my grandmother was crying and right when he was about to scold my parents for letting me perform, she walked up to me and hugged me. She said, "That was something he would have loved, he always loved hearing you play. He's smiling down on us now." The preacher stepped back and never said another word about it and neither did my aunt, I think she understood though. I believe they were more worried I'd mess up.
At the dinner, everyone was saying how beautiful it was. I was conflicted, my grandpa just died and I'd never see him again, and on the other hand people were complimenting my playing. I just akwardly said, "Thanks."
Some 14 years later my grandmother died, and even in her senility that pushed away one of her own sons, she always told my mom that she loved hearing me play that horn at his funeral. I don't play the trumpet that much anymore, but when I pick it up, the first thing I play is "Just a Closer Walk With Thee", I will never forget that song as long as I live.
A few years before my grandfather passed away, I promised him I would play "Just a Closer Walk With Thee" by the Dixieland Gents featuring Louis Armstrong at his funeral. I half jokingly said it because I thought he would live forever. You may know the song, it's actually a funeral march and it's where I got the idea. Download it and give it a listen. The version with Satchmo is actually very rare.
I was a senior in high school when he died. The only people that knew of my promise was my mom and dad, and my grandmother, but it got around to some more people the week before. My mom said I should do whatever I felt I had to do and my grandfather would understand. My Aunt Sandy and the preacher said I shouldn't do it because it would upset my grandmother. Now, I've played Taps at approximately 100 funerals. It pales in comparison to playing your grandfather's favorite song when you see his casket getting lowered.
I had my trumpet with me in the limo and my Aunt Sandy was trying to convince me not to do it. I almost didn't want to, because I knew I wouldn't make it through without breaking down. I carried my horn with me behind my back so no one would see. I looked at the Preacher and he smiled, thinking I left it in the limo. Towards the end of the funeral I backed away from my mom and dad and my mom looked at me with tears in her eyes because she knew I was going for it. I walked softly up the slight hill and stood still. I was shaking and I swear I heard my grandfather tell me to blow it loud so everyone could hear. I saw people start to walk away from the canopy and some threw roses on the coffin. I put my lips to that mouthpiece and played that song as loud as I could.
My Uncle John who, it turns out, isn't a very warm person at all but was lucky enough to be J. Walter Ludwig Jr., started walking towards me. He knew the song because he waited till the end of the first chorus to wrap his arms around me and hug me. I seriously thought he was trying to hug me to quell the music, but he was crying. He told me at the dinner that he used to listen to that song with my grandpa when he was a kid. And he knew how important it was to him. He also wondered how I knew.
The preacher was mad because my grandmother was crying and right when he was about to scold my parents for letting me perform, she walked up to me and hugged me. She said, "That was something he would have loved, he always loved hearing you play. He's smiling down on us now." The preacher stepped back and never said another word about it and neither did my aunt, I think she understood though. I believe they were more worried I'd mess up.
At the dinner, everyone was saying how beautiful it was. I was conflicted, my grandpa just died and I'd never see him again, and on the other hand people were complimenting my playing. I just akwardly said, "Thanks."
Some 14 years later my grandmother died, and even in her senility that pushed away one of her own sons, she always told my mom that she loved hearing me play that horn at his funeral. I don't play the trumpet that much anymore, but when I pick it up, the first thing I play is "Just a Closer Walk With Thee", I will never forget that song as long as I live.
Comments:
nitesh (August 26, 2006. 01:36pm)
O man that was one true sentimental story. Perhaps, I felt that somewhere, my eyes were wet.
I know, how does it feel when someone you love the most, passes away. I have very close feelings about my grandfather and I am missing him more than anything else. I couldn't attempt to type even a single word about that episode. But you did and pushed me back in memories.