My Band Director was Evil  − 5 February, 1990

Some names have been changed so that I don't get sued.

I don't really care to slander people, but I'll just say it, my Band Director was evil.

His name was "Morsdon Lung". Most of the kids disliked him and some didn't really show it because his son, Mark, was in band until this year and people liked him so they didn't want to diss the guys dad. But secretly, I think we all hated him and about %90 of us could do an impression of him. The most important part was to get the lips right. I can still do my Mr. Lung.

As the name suggests, Mr. Lung is asian. Now, I have absolutely nothing against asian people what so ever, I do however, have something against dicks.

A little background: Mr. Lung hated Mr. Dorian. (Matt Dorian was the junior high school band director and the senior and junior jazz band guru) Many feel that Lung's stance was that if you were in Jazz band, then most likely, Dorian was clouding your mind with bad things about Lung. (Lung had a Napolean complex I think or maybe the hatred stemmed from the book they cowrote together.)

Basically, it was Jazz Band Students versus Lung. He consistently jabbed at Dorian and thought that being Senior Marching Band director made him God of the districts music program.

Coincedently, Dorian is now head of the music program and a professor at East Stroudsburg University, while Lung is now, or was the last time I heard, teaching grade school band. (edit: He's retired, Thank God!)

On or around this day, I made an appointment with Mr. Fritz (guidance Counselor), Dr. Bonner (Then principal), Mr. Lung, and myself. Mr. Lung knew it was coming but didn't prepare. Big mistake.

I was prepared, I had Band Parents calling my house and cheering me on, I had band members coming to me with gripes. I found out later that I wasn't the first to lodge a formal complaint against Mr. Lung's teaching habits. Another red-headed, trumpet player band member (with initals G.P.), two years earlier, took the same exact steps. I then knew why Lung hated the kid.

We sat down and I had a couple sheets of paper and I went off, very professionally and calm. I did my best not to sound like a whiner and provided other ways of handling situations that I used as examples. After each point, Lung was asked to remark, he said nothing but stammered and laughed as if this whole thing was just ridiculous.

At the end of the meeting, which lasted about 2 hours and included me sweating profusely, Dr. Bonner excused me and I left. Mr. Lung never said a word to me about it, but I could tell by several things he did my senior year that he didn't appreciate my ideas.

After the meeting, Dr. Bonner called my mother and told her that I did a magnificent job and while many band members had complained about Mr. Lung, no one did it like I did, and it really made administration sit up and watch Mr. Lung like a hawk for the next year. We also found out that, due to my complaint and their watchful eye, Lung and the administration reached an agreement at the end of my senior year that placed Lung on sabatical, and he "resigned" from his position of Senior High School Band Director, the next year.

A few years after graduation, I was invited to a cookout with my friend Brian and we showed up at the house and were chatting, when all of the sudden, in walks Morsdon Lung and his wife. I didn't say a word to him, but stared at him. Turns out, we were in a priests home so I didn't want to say what I felt, I was also a friend of Brian's and realized that what I did reflected on him, but man, I never wanted to yell at a guy more in my life.

A few years even later, I was tutoring a young boy that attended grade school in the same district and wanted to play trumpet like me. As I was helping him, I was telling him that he must tap his foot to keep time, he told me, "My band director tells us not to do that and he yells at us when we do." I asked him who his director was and he said, I kid you not, "Mr. Lung."

The man never stopped telling us to tap our feet and now he's telling kids to not do it! I gave him the benefit of the doubt however and assumed that the kids were pounding their feet or maybe he didn't want to cloud their small brains with too much information. But I wondered, why would a school district place a guy that can fuck with teenagers heads so badly that it almost destroys the program, hire the same guy to now teach young children. I can tell you right now, Lung doesn't have the patience for young children in the classroom. I would think he didn't last too long, hopefully.

One thing I am thankful for is that Morsdon Lung taught me how to deal with very difficult people in positions in authority. I've had some crappy bosses in my lifetime too and I've been able to deal with it because I can stay professional, thanks to Mr. Lung. The bad thing is that, who knows, I could have been a professional musician if he had helped me instead of hold me back. He gave me the district band solo 2 weeks before auditions telling me that for some reason, they couldn't agree on an audition piece for the trumpet players (I found later it was an outright lie and some friends of mine from different schools had it for 2 months). He also "forgot" to hand out sheet music to the band for what was supposed to be my "Carnival of Venice" solo during the spring concert. (Seniors are asked to perform as solo artists at that concert and I had been practicing that solo for three years. I never got to do it.)

The most unfortunate thing is, who knows how many kids he possibly held back or turned away from a great thing such as music. I know of two people that are professional musicians now that were in band with me then: Jesse Green and Ed Ludwig, but they cite Matt Dorian as an influence and never once mention Gordon Lung.

Turns out, Dr. Bonner now works at York Suburban School District, in York Pa. My Birthplace and home to 95% of my extended family. My uncle, Larry Ludwig, works at the same school as Athletic Director actually. Dr. Bonner and my uncle are very close friends now and Dr. Bonner even attended my grandmother's funeral.

I would guarantee that Lung really has no clue on what being a music educator is all about.

Comments:

cincgreen (November 12, 2006. 03:58am)

I don't know. Is it some sort of rule that band directors are completely insane? Do they have to fail some sort of mental health test to get certified?